#HOW IN THE FREAKING WORLD AM I SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

he-calls-me-kitten · 5 months ago

Text

Sugar, Spice and a Tempting Vice (1)

VA! MC x OM! Characters

TW: Eh it's more fluffy than smutty I'd say, but minors DNI. Loads of random lore for the sake of immersion. Now to brainstorm the rest of the characters.

INTRO

Tagging: @romaissa @eliciana @your-favorite-god @april-notthemonth69 @ikevampharem @k8tznd8wgz @futureittomain @m-majoko @the-auguer @yurinayumi @i-am-empress-irish @deepazur @rippedbutnotamasterpiece @pomegranateboba @ra1ns70rm @anjodedesgostoeerros @sammywo @annoyingbiscuitathleteland-blog @ourfinalisation @creativecupcake @snowthatareblack @angelofbooksworld

"After a freak accident, you and a group of 5 people get teleported into a fantastical world together. Who will you team up with to try and leave this place? Or will they convince you to stay and have a new life with them here instead? Or will you stumble across the biggest secret that this new world holds...?"

You read out the summary for them at a group dinner at Diavolo's castle. Apparently, it was to celebrate your debut as a VA. They all clapped and bombarded you with questions. You tried to answer as many as you could without any spoilers.

They were supposed to have already started playing the game but the game servers got a little overwhelmed and had to go under maintenance with so many people downloading and making accounts at the same time. So Diavolo hosted this party instead.

"So how many endings can you get with a single character?" Simeon inquired.

"Well on an average there's around 12 endings per character, but there's a varying number of endings depending on the character you choose. I'm not sure I remember for all of them-"

"We just want to know yours." Belphie smirked.

"Oi come on, it makes it sound like you're all just going to play my character, don't do that! The other characters are also incredibly well written!"

The sheepish grins and side glances told you that they were clearly going ignore your last advice.

"Honestly you guys, one of the characters here has a teleportation ability, one can read minds, and another one has insane fighting skills - the only thing you know about my character is that I don't have a name!"

"Omg this means they are definitely building you upto to have the most OP ability of them all!" Levi exclaimed excitedly.

"Oh yes that's usually how it goes in these tropes. The most unassuming character ends up giving you the secret ending." Solomon nodded in agreement.

"Both of you, shush! Just play the game normally okay?! You will get to interact with all the characters anyway until the second phase." You reprimanded, sighing, knowing no one would listen anyway.

Lucifer - Saved by the Belle

"Before Tyla takes us home tomorrow, would you like to spend your last day here with me, Lucifer?"

Lucifer and you worked with loyalty and rigor under Tyla, an old world Sorceror. It was because of you two specifically that Tyla's magic was powerful enough to create a portal back home. Your character was so much like you - it felt like he completed this whole journey of freedom with you, and not just an image on screen.

> "Of course, MC. In fact...I would like to spend the night with you too."

MC blushed on screen, looking away and nodding. "Oh? Well then... I'll look forward to it."

He enjoys this way more than he thought he would. He visits for the last time, all the places you both had been together. The first tavern, the first forest path, the first temporary abode - the HumbleBee Inn.

> "It's late. Should we go back here again, for old times sake?"

"Why not? Maybe they'll accidentally put us in the same room again and get overbooked so we have no other choice. Maybe this time it'll be a bit more...eventful." You said with a sly and knowing smile as you skipped ahead.

Lucifer's knee jerked upwards, hitting the table. Just what kind of lines are these? And what are those expressions? Who else was in there listening to you when you recorded this? The way your voice sounded, Lucifer was convinced you were thinking about someone special. If only you saw the effect you were having on him.

> "I've been holding back all day. Forgive me if I'm too rough."

Lucifer pushes you against the wall, caging your body. You blush in the dark, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. It was driving him insane. He could feel his pants getting tighter at the crotch.

Last time he endured the sexual tension of sharing the bed with you, constantly trying avoid your body even though he was desperate to feel it's warmth. This time there wasn't any reason to deprive himself.

"It's okay...I can take it. Please don't hold back..."

Oh hell, you were about to be the death of him. These...are these really the sounds you'd make in bed? Godamnit you are ruining his mind. He can't relax until he's jerked off now. And it's all your fault.

The next couple days, you notice Lucifer hesitates to keep eye contact with you. In fact, he has a rather visceral reaction every time you simply call his name, standing at his door. Only he knows how badly he wants to pull you into his bed to ravage you - practice your lines with him, why don't you?

Mammon - Stranded Together

"Guess they didn't want either of us huh, Mammon?"

Nah Mammon was mad at this ending. He gets why the group left him behind - he made too many questionable choices like stealing the last reserves of food or money (so you never went hungry), running away from the monsters instead of staying and fighting with the group(with you ofc so you wouldn't be in any danger), finding new shelter and not telling anyone (except you).

> "I'm so sorry...it's because of me that they left you too. You did nothing wrong yet...no this will not stand! I'll go threaten them into taking you too!"

"Mammon wait- no don't! Alright fine I was lying! They didn't leave me...I chose not to go!"

Mammon was stunned. He stared at your character blushing and looking elsewhere while holding onto his arm. His heart beat just a little bit faster.

> "Wait...what? But you wanted to...don't you want to go back and keep looking for your family?!"

"Who knows if the family I was looking for even exists?! But you...you are real. And you are so kind to me, and so great. So..."

Your character moved in closer and closer to him. Mammon leaned back too far from the screen, falling backwards on the floor. He was not ready for what was about to come.

"If I really want a family that bad...I can just make one here...with you. But only if you wanted that too ..."

> "I do! Of course I do! We can both find work and home in the kingdom now that big monsters are all dead! I'll be yours and you'll be mine!"

Mammon pressed it on instinct, not knowing his character was gonna grab yours and pin them to the ground. His face burnt up in excitement seeing you all cornered like this. You blushed and whispered as you leaned in to kiss him.

"Hehe...Mammon...I'm all yours already. But there's others ways you can claim me if you like..."

Your sleeves fell loose, and off your shoulders and his hands began to wander. Mammon almost screamed the house down, grabbing at his sheets, humping his pillows, struggling to look away from the screen. But he couldn't stop.

How the fuck was he supposed to face you tomorrow at the breakfast table?! Yet, Mammon re-played that part at least 30 times. And now every time you whispered to him in class, Mammon had to grip his knees and stop himself from imagining the unholiest things.

Leviathan - Power of Friend-ship??

"We did it! We actually did it, Levi! Can you believe it?! Look even the people are cheering for us!"

Levi punched the air in glee, he definitely must have gotten the best ending right?! That was such an intense combat scene - he almost cried when he thought you got swallowed by the Giant of The Depths, then he watched you burst out of its stomach with all the other victims while he slashed through its neck. You and him - the two underdogs dealt the final blow. At this point, every other character was shipping you two together.

> "Let's go Army of the Third Lord!"

MC cheered and high fived him from the screen, while the rest of the group danced in celebration! Ah MC had already become one of his favourite characters of all time. He had already preordered the action figures, posters and a body pillow (yes the ecchi one).

"Come on Levi, won't you join the celebration feast!? Everyone is calling for you!"

Oh no this was Levi's nightmare. Loud and crowded parties - but it was you asking him to go, what if he missed out on an important secret ending. Just to be safe he chose a neutral option to see what you would prefer.

> ... I'm not too sure.

"Then...would you like to celebrate in private with me? I know a quiet place with a good view."

Levi almost fell out of his seat. It's happening. This is where he unlocks the hidden erotic ending. The blush on your face, the way you held out your hand for him to take - biting down on his knuckles in excitement.

> I'd really prefer that! Thank you!

You smile and nod, leading him by the hand to a nearby pond. The moonlight shimmered on the water, the reflections dancing on your skin as you both lay down next to each other. Levi could feel himself falling for you all over again.

"Look Levi, in the pond! The Gloriees are back! Aren't they beautiful?"

Levi looked at the pond in awe, glowing orange fishes swam around in the waters, jumping in and out. He watched the fishes swim around the hand you put in the water. It was like you and hundred Henries in the water.

> "So beautiful..."

"They are my absolute favorite....they have the same color as your eyes..."

Your hands reach up to touch his face, pulling him closer and Levi feels all his self restraint jump out the window. He tried to grab and kiss you but ended falling in the water with you instead.

"Oh? I didn't know I excite you so much... don't worry, it makes me really happy..."

You rose from the water, laughing and coughing slightly, your entire body now laid bare through the transparent white cloth. And if that wasn't already bad enough, he heard your moans as his character started going at it with you in the lake. You were so professional, so skilled at it...he thought he was prepared for it but he clearly wasn't.

Levi couldn't resist jerking himself off there and then, soiling his computer screen with light ropes of his cum. Now every time you announced you were going to shower, this image just popped into his mind, giving him instant boners at the most unfortunate times. And god forbid he sees you walk out of the shower with your hair wet - he'll have to rush to his room to hide that he's creamed his pants.

Satan - Bridge to Televithyia

"Satan, I will be waiting for you always. I know if fate wills it, I'll definitely get to see you again."

Satan cursed himself for this ending, almost chucking his phone at the wall. His magical powers no longer worked since the portal now connected him to his own world. And while you could use all your magic here, it would lose all power in his world. With both worlds needing help after a long and destructive battle, you both knew it was selfish to abandon your either of them - especially since you two were the only Great Guardians left.

> "I will find a permanent path between our worlds. I swear upon my life, MC."

Damnit this game had better not cut his story short. He was willing to keep going, trying to fix the playthrough so he could make a good ending out of this. Just you wait MC, he's not letting you go. A part of him wanted to go into your room and hug you, just to make sure you're there atleast in real life.

Satan rubbed furiously at his eyes as you waved him goodbye. His total playtime could rival Levi's. After gathering enough resources and magical knowledge - he could finally get started on creating the bridge. But to his pleasant surprise, he only needed to build half of the bridge, because there you were standing on the other - building your own path towards him too.

"Satan...is this a dream? Are you really back? Or is this another magical illusion again...?"

Satan blushed as you rushed to hug him peppering kisses all over his face. He had to physically get away from the game, walk around, and silently scream into his hands before he could calm himself down. Because he knew even better things were yet to come.

> "It's really me, MC. I'm sorry did I make you wait too long? I missed you so terribly...I have so many things to tell you about..."

"Come with me, we've been rebuilding our town. I know a place we can catch up...it's a special place I helped build with you in mind."

Satan follows you, your arms intertwined. You point out places to him - old renovations and newer projects. You tell him about everything that's been happening since he left.

How some endangered species came back to life, how the remaining smaller beasts were tamed and how the cursed were given peace. You stopped suddenly in front of a quaint little cottage.

"Welcome to my humble abode. I'm sorry I didn't prepare a separate room for you...because I thought you wouldn't mind sharing a bed with me..."

He blushes and grips your hand as you open the door to your room. He sees pictures of both of you on the wall and next to the bed.

> "You already built a home...with me in mind. *Smiles* Yet...the bed looks in it hasn't been slept in for a while? Did you get no sleep for the past few days?"

"Actually I haven't slept in the bed yet. I sleep on the sofa - I know it's silly but I really don't like sleeping alone in a place of two..."

Satan grips the phone tighter, as he makes his character push you on the bed. How sweet - you both get to enjoy it together for the first time. He climbs after you, trapping you underneath him.

> "Good thing I'm here now, MC."

He cups your face and trails his hands downwards, undoing some buttons on your clothes. You kiss his palms and tug down his collar.

"It's a pity though...I don't think we'll be using the bed for sleeping tonight afterall..."

He watched the screen, slack-jawed as I heard your sultry voice echoing through his room. He fell back on his pillow, hurriedly attaching his earphones. It proved to be more lethal. He could almost imagine you in his bed right now, kissing your way down his chest, while he fondles your bottom.

When you approached him later asking if he liked your work in the game, he had to cover half his face to hide the redness. He couldn't possibly tell you that he had downloaded snippets of all your moans and saved them to a secret folder. Or that he listened to them quite frequently.

#obey me #obey me smut #obey me Lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me x reader #wow im uploading after 4 months and I did only 4 characters...#don't you just love when work stress and writer's block double attack and cripple your creativity entirely...yeah me too

509 notes · View notes

literaila · 5 months ago

Note

In keeping secrets we see reader worried that sorcery would rid megumi of a normal life but what if we got megumi assuring reader that he wanted to choose this life and that she didn’t have to worry or something along those lines 😭

“we still don’t have to do this. there are plenty of high schools—“

“can you just drop it?”

you look over to megumi, trying to smile. as if he’s not going to see right through that. as if he hasn’t known you since you were practically his age, and as if you don’t actively discourage lying any chance you get.

it’s different for adults, okay?

“i’m serious, megumi.”

he raises a brow. you can tell he’s at least a little bit amused—if only because you’ve seen the same glint in his eyes when he hides satoru’s blindfolds around the house. “so am i.”

your face is pained. “you don’t have to listen to satoru. or tsumiki. or me, even.”

“when have i ever?”

you nudge him with your arm, trying to relax every tense muscle in your body.

is it just pure instinct to protect him from this? or are you actually scared, worried that megumi wouldn’t argue with satoru, isn’t comfortable enough to tell you that—

“can you stop freaking out about this?”

“do i look like i’m freaking out?”

megumi stares at you blankly.

“okay,” you look back down to the paperwork in front of you. you wonder if this is how satoru feels anytime he says anything to the kid. you should probably be nicer to him. “maybe i’m freaking out. but it’s only because dad was supposed to do this with you.”

megumi looks briefly horrified.

“take me or leave me, kid.”

he shakes his head. “you’re better than that bonehead.”

you sigh, rubbing your eyes. “okay, you really gotta get over the movie thing—“

“no i don’t—“

“it was an accident.”

megumi crosses his arms. “why are you defending him? he ruined the entire series for me.”

you roll your eyes. “you think by now you’d know not to talk to him about movies.”

“you think by now he’d know not to spoil the entire thing,” megumi mocks.

you snort.

“why are you so… weird about this anyway? you went there. so did gojo.”

“and look how he turned out.”

megumi gives you a grin—meaning his cheek twitches and he blinks at you.

“it’s just… you really don’t have to go. i know satoru goes on and on about taking responsibility, and acknowledging strength. and i know that tsumiki thinks you should do whatever you can to help people but—“ you stop. bite your cheek. “you don’t have to go, megumi. you can be a normal person. become a doctor or something.”

“i can barely deal with my classmates,” he says, “why would i want to interact with sick people on a daily basis?”

you scoff. “first of all, it was a hypothetical.”

“that’s a terrible suggestion.”

you tilt your head at him. “you’re smart,” you say, “you’re kind. you’re handsome—“ you reach a hand out to pinch his cheek, but he grabs it—like an instinct.

but you take what you can get, so you squeeze it, smiling at him—but really this time.

because he’s so much more than you could’ve asked for.

tsumiki and megumi are your good luck charms, if anything. a sign for your younger self that everything would be okay.

they’re so much more than teenagers should be, so much more than satoru or you deserve.

but you’re not going to complain. the world is shit, and the gifts you’ve been given will never leave your grasp.

still…

“you could do whatever you want with your life, megs. anything. it doesn’t have to be jujutsu.”

“this is what i want to do.”

you let go of his hand, looking back down. “are you sure?”

megumi makes a noise, crossing his arms. “why don’t you trust me?”

“it’s got nothing to do with you,” you retort, sitting up. “but you grew up with satoru telling you who you’re supposed to be—“

“i have never listened to anything he’s told me—“

“so if you decide this isn’t you, that’s okay. i need you to know that it’s okay to do whatever you want. it’s not selfish, or irresponsible. it’s human.”

there’s a moment of silence.

you stare down at the table and wonder how many times you had to repeat those words—just to believe them.

you wonder how many years it took before you decided to act however you saw fit, and not bend to the wills of fate.

what will happen to megumi, whatever he chooses?

how are you supposed to protect him from the future?

“mom,” he says, breaking the silence. not a question.

“hmm?”

you’re tapping your fingers on the table, not looking at him.

god, satoru should’ve filled out the paperwork with him. he wouldn’t have scared the kid into changing his mind. he wouldn’t have even said anything.

“i want to do this,” megumi whispers to you. “i—there was never any question for me. i’ve never wanted to do anything else.”

you look at him. he’s staring back��his eyes so stern and mature, it almost makes you want to cry.

all you can do is nod. there’s no way to voice your fears to a fourteen year old, no way to make him understand.

but that’s okay. that’s why you have satoru.

“and you don’t need to worry about me. worry about gojo, or something, instead.”

you laugh. “i do worry about dad, and you, and tsumiki. all of the time. i can’t stop now.”

“well, try.”

you shake your head, messing with his hair. “nuh-uh. you’re my little boy. i’ll always be worried about you.”

megumi makes a face, and you laugh again.

“okay,” you take a breath. “let’s finish these papers. hopefully satoru and tsumiki will be back by then.”

“did they—“

it’s then that the front door opens, satoru’s signature slam ringing down the hallway.

“speak of the devil,” you whisper. megumi just sighs.

“oh goodness,” satoru says, as he walks down the hall. “my son and my wife, sitting at the same table. isn’t that funny?”

“we’re busy, satoru.”

satoru pouts at you, setting a bag on the table. “but we brought dinner,” he says, “and presents.”

“where’s tsumiki?” megumi asks.

“she’s getting the—“

and then tsumiki rounds the corner, holding at least five different shopping bags.

“satoru!” you hit his arm. “go help her.”

“what? she’s fine. woman are strong, you know? don’t underestimate their strength.”

tsumiki laughs, setting the bags down on a chair.

“you’re gonna learn just how strong a woman is when i—“

“what are you guys doing? homework?”

you glare at him. “we’re filling out the papers yaga gave us. the ones you were supposed to do a week ago.”

he grins at you, leaning down to leave a loud kiss on your cheek. then he pulls you so your face is pressed against his thigh. “has she cried yet?” he asks megumi.

“we’re getting there.”

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #a typical family #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #child megumi

180 notes · View notes

sungjinhos · 1 year ago

Text

WESTERN WIND

Vernon is on the verge of freaking out - Vernon is chill, Vernon is calm, but everyone has a limit, and Vernon's limit is when he complains 3 consecutive weeks about his front wing and the engineering team doesn't do a thing about it.

✦ genre: F1 Alternative Universe, almost enemiers to lovers (but really just have a fight in the workplace now we are weird), smut, they do it without protection so - be safe guys love you.

✦ word count: 8.9k+ ✦ title inspired by Carly Rae Jepsen - Western wind

✦ Thea note: okay, this was a challenge!! This was written for a friend who enjoys the f1 world and isn't a carat - but we are working on it. I write for me and I write what i like to read and to me, Vernon screams lazy sex so that's that - that's really nothing more on this subject. reminder 1: i am not an english speaker so i am very sorry about any mistake but you don't need to be a bitch about it. Also, I may try to write every member but gooooood some are harder than others, and vernon was hard for me so i am sorry if the characterization is weird or when you are reading this you think shit this is not Vernon lol I reached a point where i was like yeah i'm giving up.

Vernon has always been obsessed with the idea of flying.

Not taking an airplane-flying, but actually flying. The closest he got to this was behind a steering wheel. And he got so obsessed with the feeling - first the wind against his face, then the whiplash of going too fast. He loved it so much that he just made a career out of it.

And Vernon was good at it, one of the best really, first drive in his new team and all. But it is the seventh grand prix and the car still lacking and there is so much he can do with pure strength and strategy.

He can't fight aerodynamics. He can't, and to be honest, he shouldn't do what the engineering team was supposed to. But he is one step away from getting out of the car and breaking the damn front wing with his bare hand in the middle of the box. Vernon, a lot of people don't know, but he has this kind of superpower when he gets incredibly mad his face is still calm, and nobody knows he is on the verge of freaking out.

But Vernon just handles the steering wheel to the guy next to the car and jumps off it without making a scene. On a scale of Fernando Alonso to Kimi Raikkonen Vernon leans more to Kimi's side, even though right now he may pull off a Nico Rosberg or psychological warfare like Michael Schumacher against the engineering team, he is not above it today.

He is no Kimi Raikkone though. Vernon does prefer just being in the car. He enjoys being on the circuit running laps. He is chill with being on the go, traveling around, jumping on airplanes, and Vernon developed a near to perfect packing method - he travels with just a backpack, thanks god. Vernon doesn't love press tours, sometimes they are just insufferable. He doesn't love to have a run down when his week has been shit - trashed car or broken really. But otherwise, Vernon is cool with it, he laughs a little, he goofs with other pilots, he has friends - sometimes he goes out with Lee Chan the Haas pilot. Sometimes he cracks jokes with Mingyu and Wonwoo - the Red Bull duo. So sometimes press is actually fun, and even tho Vernon is an accomplished guy in his field pole and race win on his name he also still has idols on the paddocks because he is against names like Choi Seungcheol and Hong Joshua.

So Vernon enjoys his life really, he isn't one to overthinking about what choosing this type of life made him lose. He gained so much that it would be unfair to do that, to wonder what it could be.

But when Vernon feels like his team is not even hearing his complaint about how the aerodynamics of the car is fucked up Vernon wants to just crash the car and scream in the box. What the fuck? Fix the gooddamn wing for fuck's sake.

But Vernon doesn't scream in the middle of the box, it wouldn't be good for the press, and Vernon is calm he is chill, but he isn't dumb. He does this when the engineering team, himself, and Choi Minho, his team principal, are in a more private area.

"What the hell? I've been complaining about the front wing since the Australia GP."

"We have been working on the wing." The engineering girl slash prodigy answers.

"And why the fuck is not working properly? This car will fly out of the track if a single drop of rain falls." Vernon continues because he is the one putting his life on the line really. Why no one is giving a fuck about what he has been saying.

"We are trying, you know about regulations we cant-" You try to say as if everybody doesn't remember that FIA is actually the worst ever and it is your job to care about regulations too.

"Oh my fucking God. I gonna crash this car in the first fucking lap I am not even kidding." Vernon says pacing around the table, he hates the whole can't do won't do FIA-related frustration.

"Ok, Vernon you know we can't really do anything about it right now," Minho says arms crossed. "So stop bitching about it, and no you will not crash my car in the first lap you are not stupid." And now Vernon knows he can't really crash his car but he feels the urge to do it nonetheless, Minho can scrap his bank account he doesn't care, he can go fucking penny less but he will have his front wing fixed up.

"You," Minho says pointing at you and you are actually relieved, you can take the screams of the team principal - even tho Minho is not near screaming, but taking shit from the pilot? Not gonna happen "For fuck sake take his complaint and actually do something about it for the next GP, you have like 5 people that could have been working for NASA in the team if he complains again about this mothefucker wing again I gonna have a stroke," he says leaving the room.

"Why do you guys only act when I bring Choi Minho to the room?" Vernon asks feeling dumb and to be honest disrespected. He knows he is young, he knows he is new, but he was brought to the team for a reason.

"Not that it matters," You say already picking the things around the table, probably from a previous meeting. "But he is my boss, not you Vernon."

"I am the one inside the car," Vernon says trying to attain some kind of respect or authority.

"Ok, that's not relevant to me whatsoever. I work designing a car that if we put a dog behind the wheel is gonna be fast so-" You say because you are tired this front wing nightmare has been going on for more than the australia grand prix actually, it's always the same problem, again and again, your team fixes it but it always comes back to life like a zombie or something.

"Did you just say that I am not relevant? Are you kidding me?" Vernon actually scoffs because of course he knew when he arrived in Mercedes that the team is bigger than him, he knew what all the critics said, but being treated that poorly by a co-worker? Fucked up man.

"That's not what I meant-"

"Yeah yeah yeah like Im just a dumb kid on the wheel, that's what you meant. I really thought we could build a nice relationship and all-" Vernon cuts you already opening up his overall because it is hot as fuck, like one step away from dying hot. "I guess the civil war thing going on wasn't in my plans but if you guys on the engineering want that I have no problem whatsoever in being a fucking dick."

Vernon says almost dashing to his trailer, fucking stupid overalls dangling around his waist because if one of the journalists asks him something about his wing or his time or how Kim Mingyu got the pole, Choi Minho is not the only one who will have a stroke. Health care plans and his life insurance will skyrocket.

After Vernon takes a shower, he realizes how dumb and idiotic he is. This happens a lot. Vernon doesn't really know how to deal with his rage, so when the anger dissipates, he just ends up regretting everything.

Regretting is not even close to the proper word. When Vernon analyzes the chances of him fucking up his entire year because you simply do not rage war on your engineering team - that was like a rule, not a rule scratch that, it was a dogma. A rule you can break, if you try that shit on a dogma, you will root in hell. The hell being Vernon's worst nightmare - having the team ask him to pull aside to the other driver because he can't keep up, the reason? His shitty ass front wing.

But when the actual race comes and Vernon starts the race in third and finishes up in 5th place, he doesn't know who will drop dead first, him or Choi Minho.

"Do we need a meeting between grand prix to fix this hellhole you guys have been calling a car?" His boss asks and Vernon can see you just rolling your eyes. Dude, that's crazy. Did you just roll your eyes to Choi Minho? That was insane.

And Vernon coped the only way he knew - developing a wealth obsession fueled by hatred, all because you didn't give him his wing and a roll of your eyes at Choi Minho.

Before that, Vernon really didn't have a problem with you. Since he moved to Mercedes everything was great! Great team! New and more powerful car! Great teammate - Lee Jihoon, who actually took Vernon under his wing. The pre-season was great, and he didn't have problems with you whenever you two had to talk about the development stage of the car.

Actually, Vernon finds you interesting really, that's not a lot of women in F1, and the majority of the women actually deal with public relations or team management like Kwon Boa. He always saw you around, really, always in jeans, tennis, and a Mercedes shirt. Sometimes with glasses, sometimes with a cap on. Always chatting with someone, sometimes writing things down on a notebook, sometimes explaining something.

He didn't actually have any problems with you. He didn't have a reason, but now? Now Vernon can't really back off, can he? God, he was not a fighter and neither a hater, but he wasn't a coward either.

So when his one-week break is cut short and people send him to Northamptonshire Vernon is angry because really: 1st he could use a few days off, 2nd between the Emilia-Romagna and the Monaco GP he had booked a crazy Airbnb in Cannes.

Now he was stuck in this hell hole of a place, in a way too cold meeting room, with like the whole engineering team and his boss. Not ideal. So Vernon's mind just wonders really, he thinks about how he needs to catch up on his favorite TV show, maybe he can check on his family later, or call his friend Boo Seungkwan - maybe he would call Seungkwan to Monaco is bouge enough for Seungkwan.

“And that's why we try to fix the front wing, but it seems like the aerodynamic problem is always back. Lee Seokmin actually did design another front wing at the start of the pre-season but you guys said that this one had a better grip” You finish the whole ppt-presentation, sometimes you hated your job so much, and by sometimes you meant the whole ppt presentation of a problem that we can`t actually fix because of regulations and because you guys main driver didn't do proper feedback in the first place. And now you have a problem in your hands, that to begin with, it wasn't even yours.

“So the best thing we can do is?” Choi Minho asks and you laugh because right now you are not the one treating Vernon like a damn child on the wheel, it is Choi Minho, but Vernon is too engrossed in his own mind to notice or he feigns ignorance because it is Choi Minho who is talking, not you the mere translator girl for the engineering team.

“We can try always the wet tire even if it's just light, and we can always use the soft tire at the beginning of the race it is the less durable but if he is in a good position to start with we can always call him back-”

“So, we did this three-hour meeting” Vernon actually checked his watch. It was a tree hour meeting for god`s sake. “for the resolution being soft tire and pray for a good pit stop? Are we crazy?”

“If you heard about FIA rules we cannot-” You try to speak but really, you don't even know why you start when you know you gonna be ignored by the man in the room and it’s F1 there is always a man in the room, always.

“Ok ok,” Vernon interrupts. “Just so you know that’s crazy, everything about this wing situation is crazy, we are just handling the championship, we are not even close to being - I don't know? 5th fucking place.”

“We need to make the legal team re-analyze the rules,” Minho says contemplative and not really angry, and to be honest you wouldn't be either because it is true, but Vernon could be less bitch about it because it is not your fault either

“Just that? Ok,” Vernon says and he gets up because when Minho talks about the legal team it`s gonna take 4 to 6 days to actually find a loophole in the damn manual, but hey ok, it's fine, Vernon it’s chill, but not chill enough because the next moment his mouth is moving. “Maybe you could ask for the engineering team to work on that too I don't know just a thought”

And you laugh, loud and clear. And Vernon is truly spooked. What the heck? Are you going crazy? Has the excruciating work and the insane hours with the weekly jetlag made you crazy?

“Yeah Minho,” you say, picking up the papers. Why do you always pick up? Are they top-secret papers? Vernon never thought about corporate espionage, but it may be a thing. “Maybe you can ask your drivers for proper feedback when I ask them about grip and wings and start making them say whole sentences, not it's bad and a sad emoji. If we did send a form about this shit we wouldn't have this problem,” You actually leave them room, but Minho and Vernon continue listening to your voice down the hall. “Oh Vernon, how it’s going with the car. Make them say 4 whole sentences and not it's chill. Maybe that would help” and then you scream. “Just a thought."

“I mean” Choi Minho starts getting up too. “Nothing against a rivalry in the workplace, dang in my times, it was worse. But if I get an actual complaint - Humans Resources or Legal Team involved - I am so firing both of you, and I am not even caring about labor law or whatever.”

And Vernon thinks it's weird how he was the first one to get up and the last one out of the meeting room.

So when Vernon actually arrives in Monaco - Boo Seungkwan, his best friend since birth, on his side, the civil war in his team is still going on at full speed. The tire strategy is still in place. Choi Minho still looks at him every five minutes like a babysitter. You still give a side eye every time you both share a room, Vernon is even more aware that you roll your eyes at everyone. Are you just discontent with everything?

But he doesn't think so when he sees you and Jeonghan, the team strategy, and Jun, one of the mechanics, laughing while eating lunch. Vernon is puzzled really why the fuck is he, Choi Minho, and the whole team getting side eyes and Jeonghan and Jun receiving beautiful smiles and even laughs? That's weird, more than weird, that's unfair really.

"What's going on in your head?" Boo Seungkwan asks, actually stealing a bite of Vernon chicken's breast.

"Just, you know the whole war in the team. That's the girl that is actually making my life hell." Vernon says voice low like he is telling Seungkwan a secret, trying to be discreet.

"That one?" Seungkwan asks loud and not caring about the top secret war going on, apparently. "Oh, Vernon, she is pretty."

"And?" Vernon thinks puzzled because really he never stopped to think about it. "Ok, ok, stop looking," Vernon says when he sees Jeonghan looking back at his table, grabbing Seungkwan and almost getting up and turning Seungkwan`s head himself. God.

"You didn't tell me she was pretty." Seungkwan acts like it was the most important thing ever. Missing the point, really, because the most important thing ever in this whole ordeal was Vernon's career and the probability of it ending abruptly.

"Yeah, because it is not important, I mean…" Vernon trails off because again, he never stopped really, but thinking about you are pretty. Or at least not recently. Vernon thinks back when you two met in the pre-season and he may have blushed once or twice talking to you in the first days, but he wouldn't call it a crush.

"Hey Vernon," Jeonghan says, stopping at his side. "We will go over the strategy at 3 pm for the first free practice, so if you need anything, just give us a heads up before."

"Oh, sure man, actually I was thinking about the ty-" Vernon starts.

"Bye guys, if I hear one more driver talking about how they don’t want to start with a soft tire today, I'm gonna jump the nearest cliff." You say, lacing arms with Jun and just dragging him.

"Oh, she is feisty today," Jeonghan laughs. "Okay, anyway, you can bring everything to the team, right? I need to actually get some information with her so-"

"Sure, sure man, no big."

“Yeah," Boo Seungkwan just laughs, and laughs, he actually almost falls backward type of laughing “When was the last time you got laid?"

"Hm?" Out of nowhere? What the heck was going on in his friend’s mind? But Vernon actually needs time to think about it, fuck, when was the last time? Vernon didn’t even remember with whom. "I don't know a few weeks?"

"Months right?" Seungkwan answered in a heartbeat, chewing on a long French fries.

"Maybe dude, you know it is hard when I am always on the go." And it was hard, Vernon wasn’t lying. He didn’t enjoy the whole no-string attached really, and after he got a little famous - in a very niche type of famous he knew that, he was no rockstar type of guy, but still, he enjoyed it even less.

"Yeah didn't peg you for doing in the workplace kind of guy, always talking about how it is precious and nothing can disturb the paddock’s energy,” Seungkwan says making Vernon almost choke on his food.

“First, that is the rule that applies when you want to bring your boyfriend Kwon Soonyoung because last time he almost broke my trophy,” Vernon can actually feel the chill going through his body just remembering the scene that his traumatized brain conjures up, it was his first grand prix win and Seungkwan boyfriend almost knocked it down. “second we are not doing anything. We are actually enemies”

“Oh,” Seungkwan stops, truly stops, dropping his fork and knife, and he stares at Vernon, but Vernon knows it is not a stare, Seungkwan is analyzing Vernon like he always did. “Well, that's even worse, because when it happens - see not if, I said when it's going to be a nuclear bomb, thanks good I am not going to Spain with you and me and my lovely boyfriend will be having a few days off in Monaco so…”

The problem was that Seungkwan was always annoyingly right. Seungkwan was right when he said Vernon's last relationship wouldn't last more than 3 months. Seungkwan was also right about Vernon's first love and second. Seungkwan had this superpower really, Seungkwan was always there to see the picture better before Vernon did.

But Vernon always just shrugged and went to his next task, now free practice. And Vernon did slightly better than he thought - 4th place. So he wasn't actually totally dejected after the press asked him about the probability of rain. Everything was fine until Vernon saw the little orange cat hiding in the corner of the Mercedes trailer.

Vernon squatted and tried to call the little kitten really, it was tiny and made Vernon's heart break a little because when the cat was approaching him Vernon saw how he was limping, front paw looking hurt. Also, the little dude looked muddy. He may hate Vernon for it, but he needed a good wash.

"Hey," You say looking at Vernon who just started stroking the orange cat fur. "I was just-" You point at the water container.

"Ah yeah," Vernon says, giving you a nod. "I was thinking of finding something so this little guy can eat but-"

"We don't know anything around, same." You say squatting on Vernon's side and putting the container on the ground, little dude giving you both a meow.

"Could we-" Vernon starts but you just cut him.

"Make a trainee do the hard work? Make them go to the nearest supermarket, " you say, laughing a little, like you laugh with others. And Vernon thinks that maybe your brain is too fast, two-step forwards already, ahead of everyone, always.

"Yeah, I was thinking about asking someone or even the Grand Prix organizers to even get a vet around. I think something is wrong with his paw." Vernon points at the cat, and he stops for a minute thinking about how he is so used to being in the paddock but not really knowing his way around it. He strokes the cat again, almost feeling the urge to pick him up and go around asking if anyone knows a vet.

"You shouldn't be touching him." You say and Vernon feels a little offended. Did you enjoy telling him what to do? Vernon could take it, he didn't like it, but when it was about the race he could take it, but about a cat? Really? "Like, for health reasons."

"Yeah, I was thinking about taking him to the trailer, but if he has fleas, that would be a nightmare," Vernon says hand still scratching the little cat like the rebel he was.

"Can you-" You trail off, looking around, and Vernon can almost see your brain working inside your skull.

"What?"

"Look, we have like two options.” You say getting up and fixing your pants. And Vernon thinks that Seungkwan was actually right shit, you are actually and objectively pretty. “You can be an asshole and make someone do the job just because you are throwing a i am a star fit"

"Or?"

"You could totally do your I am a heartthrob bit on the communication team newbie, she kinda has a crush on you, so she would totally find Seb a vet place. Just don't let Minghao know.” Vernon just feels like a lot of what you just said goes over his head because it really doesn’t make sense to him, Heartthrob what? Crush who? Seb?

"Are we calling him Seb?"

"I mean he just gives me Sebastian Vettel energy all around you know, he is kind of shy and orange," you say trying not to sound dumb, feeling a little anxious - because Vernon always made you feel this way, an uneasy feeling paired with his low voice.

"Yeah, I can see that” and Vernon smiles, dude the cat really looks like Sebastian. God - in that exact moment Vernon knows that his life is fucked up, he is picking a stray cat when the next 3 weeks he will be jumping from airplane to airplane. But look at him, Vernon can't leave Seb in a freaking paddock, in the end of the week everything will be gone.

"So? Which one? I'm pretty sure we can try just telling Minho you went rogue as the third option but…"

"The heartthrob one just-" Vernon can feel his forehead itch and the beginning of a headache. He can't do a heartthrob bit. What is he talking about? "Just show me the way."

"I need your keys," you say to Vernon, hand open in his direction "First we need a box and a towel. We can't let little Seb on the loose."

"He is a little difficult, though. Pretty sure he won't stay in the box," Vernon tells you already giving you his key.

"I think I can steal a few eggs for him on the way. If they are boiled, it won't be a problem. He seems hungry enough."

And Vernon actually plays with Seb until you arrive, a box filled with Vernon's towel - probably the one he used this morning, and a plastic plate full of eggs. And then you are already dragging Vernon around to the second task - the heartthrob bit. And Vernon thinks about how quick on your feet you are - figuratively, and literally, you walk really fast. Later, you tell him that is a job thing, not a you thing. Apparently to be an F1 engineer you need to think fast, walk quickly, and solve everyone's problems.

Vernon did the heartthrob bit - it actually ended up with the newbie taking Seb to the vet, you gave her a to-do list (1 - check his paw, 2 - check for fleas, 3 - don't forget the shots!!!) and Vernon's credit card. But Vernon still with a weird taste in his mouth. How did you know the newbie had a crush on him? That's totally weird.

But hey the trainee actually found a vet, and she brings Seb back with shots and a bath. And now Vernon is staring at his cat, thinking about how if he needs to call the hotel to check about the animal policy, maybe he could do the heartthrob bit to the hotel manager. Or he could leave Seb unattended, he could eat something, chew his race boot, or - then Vernon hears a knock, which is weird of course because Vernon doesn't actually receive visits in the motor home, people know that Vernon is sensitive about that - no fans, no press, no knocking when he is in the motorhome.

"Hi," you say as soon as Vernon opens his door, "just came to see the little guy."

"Oh, yeah sure," of course it was you, the only person who doesn't actually care about Vernon’s word and maybe well-being, but Vernon kind of understands, Seb is cute, "he looks tired tho."

"It's okay, I just came to give him some love." You say one digit going between Seb’s ear, squatting on the floor, letting Seb chill in his place, "Are you going to the hotel?"

"I don't know,” Vernon scratches his kneck because it is true, he doesn’t actually have any idea what he is about to do, maybe he can take his race boots and everything essential so Seb doesn't chew on it, "I need to go but I can’t leave him alone but also I can’t sleep on the couch, it will fuck up my neck and also can’t just not sleep."

"You can go, I can sleep here on the bed, not a problem." You say sitting on the floor, Seb little groggy but wake, you pick him up and put him on your lap, and he just purr. What the hell? His cat is purring? For another person? What?

"I can’t let you do that,” he can’t because his cat is already in love and because he also knows that his motorhome bed is just uncomfortable.

"Don’t worry, we are just-" you say finally looking at Vernon’s eyes, "co-parenting" You say and Vernon feels like a bomb just dropped, and the whole humanity just vanished, he can hear a pin drop.

"Co-pareting? A cat?" Vernon says like his brain is not really functioning.

"Yeah Vernon,” You start, and Vernon can see a small smile across your face, “people have different family arrangements. You, me, and Seb, divorced people with a kid, it's okay."

"Divorced?" Vernon actually lets out a laugh, a scoff really. Why are you trying to mess with him ? This is not even close to normal.

"Yeah we are not on great terms but we sacrifice for him."

Vernon leaves - not because you said he could, not because you found a solution, but because it was the right thing to do for his performance really. Vernon leaves because his neck is a prized possession, and because he needs to sleep , he needs his best reaction time. And Vernon is an athlete. People may say that driving a car is not a sport, but people don’t know how much the g-force makes his neck almost break. But when Vernon lays in bed with his special pillow, Vernon can’t actually sleep. His mind goes back to his motorhome, to his just-for-stretching bed, and never actually sleeps. His mind, Vernon finds out, is going back to you sleeping in that awful bad, to the way you treat the little cat like it can break, and the way that every time your hand goes against the cat's fur Venon can actually feel the love.

Vernon is so fucked.

He starts to think that Seungkwan is actually right.

And Vernon can't actually sleep because you are tormenting his mind and Seungkwan's voice telling him 'I told you so' echoes in his mind.

Even tho not getting the eight-hour sleep Vernon gets what his system needs to be quick on his reactions - Wonwoo and Seungcheol actually crash in front of him, debris over his head and Vernon has control enough to just not crash in the crash in the narrows streets of Monaco. Nightmare, really. Vernon finishes in third because of it, and even tho he is in the podium, he can't actually feel happy about it.

Maybe that's really why Vernon can't have his car with a fucked up wing because it can mean life and death. Later that day he makes sure to go check with both drivers - halo is ugly as fuck but saves lives.

Vernon is thankful that he doesn't have time to actually think about life and death because you are shoving him into a funny bag and telling him to put Seb inside and telling him that you actually are about to sit next to him. So Vernon ends up with a cat bag on his lap, Seb strangely chills about everything, your hand going inside the bag just to stroke his fur.

He ends up sleeping the flight, which is only about 1h40 minutes, but Vernon feels like he needed that nap.

The perception of time in the world of F1 is really truly bizarre. Vernon is always running, always thinking about how he can go faster, even when he is doing the press talk. Minghao walks faster, and explains everything for Vernon in 3 sentences, if it is a sponsor or if it is a journalist, if he needs to actually talk about the car, or if it is a 'content' bit.

But when Vernon is going around the paddock and see you leaning against Jeonghan smile bright and full Vernon actually stops on his track, it is late, and everything is figured out in the paddock why the hell are you and Jeonghan laughing about?

"Come on, Vern," Minghao calls him, making his neck turn. "Come on, we have three more, and if I don't arrive in time for my dinner with Mika, she is going to kill me."

So Vernon lets Minghao drag him across the paddock. But his mind is still on the scene, you leaning and smiling against Jeonghan, and Vernon doesn't want to, but he feels jealous. He wants to be Jeonghan so fucking bad.

Vernon really doesn't have much time to think about it, he needs to sleep, watch his water intake, and think about his neck - his neck is his most important body part as a f1 driver, and he did think his neck was feeling a little funny. But every time Vernon sits and has time to himself, his brain conjures the image of you and Jeonghan in his eyelid.

Vernon doesn't think it was because of his neck or because his sleep was extremely shitty but the next day, his car crashes against a brick wall. Not great. Not ideal. Not fun either. So Vernon does what he needs to do. Even if he feels fine and got out of the car on his own, he needs his trip to the hospital. Turns out a few hours later, the medical team is sure that Vernon is not dying, but he may have a concussion.

When Vernon is back in his motor home to pick Seb back to the hotel (this time he actually made sure it was okay with the hotel's policy) he founds you lying on his useless motor home bed.

"Hey," you say getting up the bed "are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah," Vernon drops his bag on the floor and sits down by your side. "Just a concussion."

"Okay," you say, looking at Vernon, like actually looking at him searching for something. "I was scared it wasn't a pretty scene, Vernon."

"I know, but I'm okay," but Vernon is so so tired, he is okay and he feels okay but he feels the urge to just lie in this horrible bed and just stay in it, he doesn’t even care about his neck really - he can call for physiotherapy or something.

"Still, the whole team was worried, you don’t need to act like it wasn’t scary,” you say and Vernon just feels so heavy, like his whole body is made of bricks, even tho he is ok with it, he is used to it really, but the crash still takes a tool on his body "and you should have gone directly to the hotel"

"I was just picking Seb up," Vernon just lies on that horrible bed and it doesn’t really seem that bad, or he is just so tired that even lying on the floor seems like a good option now. His mind is tired too - Vernon can’t even think.

"You didn't need to do that. You could've ringed me up, you know, co-parenting,” you say, voice small, and Vernon's hazed mind almost doesn’t catch it.

"Yeah," Vernon scoffs. Really, he didn’t even think about texting you, "I don't think I have your number"

"Oh shit," You say picking up Vernon's phone and putting it in front of his face to unlock his phone, "ok gonna save my number you need to send me Seb pics I don't think you should bring him up, we have a week off you are probably going back to England right? You should hire someone to go see him daily or-"

Vernon just feels the urge to actually kiss you. You are just there, cat on your lap, thinking about how Vernon shouldn't bring Seb around anymore, you are so so worried about his health and if he is getting stressed, and you go on about how Vernon just needs to let him rest in his place in England even tho it would be super hard for you because you are getting used to distress, every work day you pop up in Vernon motor home to say hi to the cat - and to Vernon, it all feels like a freaking lullaby, he actually nestles himself in the bed, searching for the better position to just sleeps.

"See," you say to Vernon when you see how dozed off he is "you never pay attention."

"I am paying attention," Vernon answers, eyes still shut but not actually sleeping.

"You are not. You are zoomed out," You say, lying on his side, legs dangling out of the bed. "What were you thinking?"

"Nothing really," Vernon says because he is not really thinking about anything concrete really, his brain is all over the place.

"Vern," you actually whine, "I thought we were becoming friends parenting the same kid"

"We are becoming friends" Vernon laughs because that is weird right? “I have your phone now we are definitely friends”

"See? So tell me, what's on your mind lately?" You try again, but Vernon just hums."You seem actually stressed lately. Is Minho bothering you? I know the results are not great, but i promise we are trying"

"I know, I know, don't worry about that." And Vernon feels actually bad because it is the first time he can feel that you are a little guilty, no scratch that, tired? Vernon can’t really catch the feeling, but he knows that you care.

“I am not worried about that, I care about the results but you crashed today, the med team said you may have a concussion, and I don’t know if you are just zooming out in an ok way or zooming out in a concussion-induced way.”

“It’s not the concussion the hospital let me go, it is just, I’m just tired” Vernon feels your hand on his hair, petting him, almost like you do with Seb, and Vernon just let himself sleep feeling the affection in the way your fingers travel in his skull.

The thing is, even when Vernon is in his house in England he doesn't really feel at home, because it is a company provided apartment, and to be fair Vernon didn't put a lot of effort in it. So in his week off Vernon tries to focus on his physical training, on his neck, on his diet, on sleeping, but every time his phone vibrates Vernon just feels giddy and excited because 80% of the time it is just you reacting to Seb's pics Vernon sent.

Vernon tries not to think about how fast you answer his messages or how sometimes you send audio snips, and Vernon doesn't feel angry - he always hated audio message god. Vernon also hated calls but one night he actually video calls you and you are already in bed but you said you wanted to say goodnight to Seb but you and Vernon spends more than an hour chatting about nothing and everything.

When the time comes, Vernon ponders; leaving Seb behind or actually flying with the cat. So he just calls Boo Seungkwan to babysit Sebastian - the hours of flight and the jetlag would just make him stressed, even tho Vernon thinks he is the worst person ever adopting a cat to just let him stay in an empty apartment even tho Seungkwan will make sure he is eating, and Vernon actually begged 3 times to Seungkwan check Seb's litter box.

To everyone's surprise, Vernon actually gets a pole position. To be honest, even to Vernon and his team it was a surprise, too. But it was a good one. You congratulated him, and that night, you and Vernon called Seungkwan and spent like 45 minutes talking to a cat and cooing together - like parents on a holiday.

Vernon thinks it's kinda weird really - how you two fell into this dynamic of sharing a pet, and in a way, you two turned into friends too. So when Vernon is ready to get out to his car you are the last one to greet him, and Vernon is not really superstitious but he thinks he will make sure that this turns into a new team ritual.

When Vernon crosses the finish line, he feels it - the feeling that Vernon always chased in a way. When he hears the screams and laughs on his radio, he feels he can actually let go and just enjoy. He did. He won a grand prix again.

And when Vernon is showered with champagne, hears his national anthem, and jumps to the crowd he thinks about you. He tries to find you really but Minghao just directs him to the press area.

“Hey,” you say, popping your head in the door crack after knocking on his door. “Heard you were looking for me.”

“Yeah yeah.” And Vernon feels sticky. His whole body is covered in champagne. He is looking like a mess, but god, he is so so happy. “Didn’t see you in the celebration.”

“I was around. Saw everything, don't worry" You move and close the door acting like you guys didn't accomplish the best thing in the whole world because that's how Vernon feels like he is on top of the world.

“No no-” Vernon's smile is so big, and he touches your arms, and he actually stops, and he looks at you. “We did! We actually did it!”

“You did it" you say almost shoving him, but Vernon's hands don't leave your arms - hot and sticky against your skin, "don't need to be humble it was a great race on your side-”

“No no no listen, we both did it. We did it together. We are sharing this," Vernon says - smile still big across his face, he is so sweaty why do you think that seeing Vernon happy is the best thing ever? “Come on, say it”

“We did it” You say smiling, not even because you are happy with his win - you are, you are happy for the team, and you are happy for Vernon, but Vernon is so happy and in a way is so infectious you just can not smile like him.

“We sure did,” and Vernon hugs you, head dropping on your shoulder, “god-”

“What?"

“You smell nice," Vernon says voice muffled.

“Thank you, you smell like really nice champagne," you say with a laugh, god Vernon is so happy, and there is only one thing that would make him happier -

"And-” He tries to master his courage to say, “and I wish I could kiss you.”

When Vernon kisses you, he almost feels the breeze, almost feeling the physical sensations that involve flying, because, in his head, he is already 10 thousand feet high. He feels so out of it that Vernon just let you take what you want for him. God, you want so much.

Vernon can feel it. He feels in the way your fingers hold his jaw. He feels in the way your mouth goes together, like two pieces made to fit each other. He feels in the way that you react when his hands hold your hips so tightly, whimpering in his mouth.

Vernon is not one to complain about speed, but when his whole world is spinning and everything is going so fucking fast he wishes he could stop the time, make it go backward, make it go slower.

His whole life, he fought against the clock. If he was two seconds faster if he didn't waste milliseconds in the second curve. Vernon was always running, but now, fuck Vernon wishes he could go slow.

So Vernon chooses to take his time, not hurry. He kisses you slowly. The way that he trails his lips against your jaw is slow, and the way that his hands travel to your ribcage is slow.

"Vernon," you try to call his attention, to make him hurry, to make him speed up, but the only thing that Vernon gives you is a non-committal noise.

And Vernon thinks you are in a fucking trailer, with a not-great bed, and he has one better - bigger and with his trusted neck pillow but everything just shatters when someone knocks on his door.

And when Vernon opens the door and sees Minghao he thinks two things: Minghao is his worst enemy really, Minghao must hate him. The second one? Vernon asks himself how many wins he needs in his career to do a contract clause saying he is never doing press again, if someone asks him to do an interview or youtube content he is allowed to change teams before the end of his contract.

Vernon goes back to everything needs to move fast behavior. You two jump on a plane, and again, Vernon has his week off - while you need to go to Austria to check everything related to the engineering team. So when Vernon arrives and Seb purrs against his leg, he films it and sends it to you. When Vernon is chilling on his bed and Seb acts like Vernon's body is his personal pillow, he films it and sends it to you. When you say you are crying because you miss the cat, Vernon calls you and says you can knock on his door anytime.

When Vernon arrives in the paddock the first thing he does is ask Jun where you were - meeting room, you had a meeting with Jeonghan and Minho, but when Vernon knocks on the door you are alone.

"You really did it." It's the first thing you say to Vernon.

"Yeah" He shrugs. "it was a promise."

"It looks good on you," you say, sitting in front of him at the table, hand touching Vernon’s hair, feeling the urge to ruffle it.

"So, like, my last meal was airplane food, so I was thinking about taking you to dinner," Vernon says, and you just think how it is unfair that even tho he is not conscious of it, he is doing the heartthrob thing, the lazy eyes, the small smile, the unkept hair - now blonde.

"Hm-" you try your best to not just throw your papers and forget you have an actual job just because Vernon smiled at you, "I don't know if I am free, actually Minho was talking about going over the strategy with you so-"

"Yeah? Ok, I can call him and say the airplane gave me a headache so," Vernon picks his phone up and starts typing something, "I don't know Austrian food that well but we can always go to an Italian."

"Italian, I prefer Italian," you say, chin resting on your hand and just admiring Vernon. You are pretty sure if you were a cartoon, they would draw you with heart eyes.

"Nice."

You let Vernon wine and dine you. The restaurant was nice, and it was even nicer that you and Vernon sat side by side in low light, and you can just rest your head on his shoulder because you were truly tired and because every time you did that you could actually sniff Vernon a bit, and he smells so so good.

You guys just chat about everything, and at some point, Vernon actually unlocks his phone and just lets you browse his gallery (90% of it is Seb's pics or videos, and the other 10% were the pics you sent him about your day - a coffee, a building, anything silly that made you smile), and looking at it made your heart melt.

In a silent agreement, you just hop in Vernon's Uber and end up on his hotel bed, with Vernon on top of you.

Vernon kisses you slowly like he has all the time in the world - and you are weak enough for him, so you don't complain, you don't hurry him. To be honest you don't want him to hurry either, you are enjoying the way Vernon is nested between your legs, the way you can feel his weight on your body, and the way that his hands feel against your neck.

The way Vernon touches you makes you feel treasured, makes your heart full, and makes you want to make him feel the same way, and you try your best.

You try when your hands travel to his biceps, squeezing it the way his hands tighten against your hips. You try when your hand goes through his hair when he kisses your neck. You try when Vernon's hands travel under your shirt and you kiss his cheeks because it's the only place you reach.

Vernon doesn't think, and he doesn't try. He just does, and he accepts what you give him.

When Vernon outright grinds on you and you whimper, Vernon accepts it. When your hands claw at his shirt, he accepts, and when he gets off, you take his shirt off and see you doing the same. Vernon thinks that maybe you gonna give him more than he can take.

You don't rush him, you let Vernon watch you, but you feel rushed, so you get up as well, mouth. chasing Vernon's while you take off your bra.

The way Vernon holds you makes your mind spin. The way his firm body feels against yours, and how his hands feel against your back. And even though you try, Vernon still kisses you slowly.

Vernon holds you when he makes you lie on the bed, "baby lemme just-" he says, giving your hips a small kiss, and opening the button of your pants, when he takes your pants off you can feel his digits traveling against your leg and you are sure he can feel the goosebumps on your skin.

Vernon's fingers close against your ankle, and Vernon brings it against his mouth, "Vern " you try to call him, and you feel dumb enough that you just beg. And Vernon kisses you again, one hand on your chest and the other grabbing your hips.

And you think you can take slow when Vernon is on top of you, legs tangled, his lips now on your neck. Every time your hips move together Vernon hums against your skin and you wish he was naked already. But when Vernon's lips find your chest you can't really complain because you feel so lost, he takes one of your nipples in your mouth, and he gives attention to the other one too, taking your nipple between two fingers and toying with it

When Vernon releases your breast with a pop you remember to call him, "Vern please"

"What?" He says hands toying with your panty line, digits hot against your hips.

"Your pants," you say, feeling your mouth dry, body buzzing.

"Oh right," Vernon says and you already feel remorseful when Vernon detaches his body from yours.

You try to reach Vernon with your hands, palms against his skin, on his chest, on his abs, on his thighs. Everywhere - trying to placate the lack of the feeling of his body against yours.

When Vernon finishes getting his pants off he holds your head, hand against your nape and jaw and he kisses you, and you feel a little better thinking he suffered like you did in those milliseconds that your bodies have been apart from each other.

And Vernon did, and when he stops to look at you, to really look, tracing his thumb against your mouth and you open just enough for your tongue to lap at his digit Vernon thinks he is going crazy.

God, you are just so pretty on his bed, hair messy, trails of his kiss against your skin. Vernon knows he is so fucking lucky, and if he could he would stop the time, he would treasure every second - he would go so fucking slow he would make the clock go backward. You, however, don't really care, you just touch Vernon, hand under his underwear giving his dick a few pumps while Vernon's hands leave an imprint on your ribcages.

Vernon helps you a little, one hand on your hips and another one lowering his underwear, his dick finally free. When Vernon looks down, he can see how red his skin is - a blush coloring his chest, he can also see how your thumb just goes smoothly against his cockhead and Vernon thinks he might go insane.

"Do you need to-" Vernon asks while trying to return the feeling, hand going to your clothed pussy, pressing against it and making you whimper.

"No, no, I am ok," You say, almost in a way to make Vernon hurry up, "You can just fuck me."

"Yeah yeah ok," Vernon says, and you can feel the way his dicks enters you while Vernon's tongue lick his lips.

Vernon fucks you slowly, body pressed against yours, one of his hands holding your head - almost pressing you against his, his lips never leaving your cheek. And it is almost excruciating - the way Vernon fucks you, so slowly and yet so fucking good.

You try to tell him in the way your hands hold his neck, the way you feel his shoulder blades under your hands, the way you want to touch the expanses of his back.

It's good, and you could live like that - in Vernon's warm embrace. But you are feeling desperate enough so you just beg, "Vern, faster", and not a second late Vernon is fucking you harder. He picks himself up, knees on the bed, holding your legs on the side of his waist. And god he hits you so deep, you just need a little more.

"Fuck you are so hot," Vernon says almost there when he sees your hand toying with your clit.

"I am so close," You say to him and you can feel how his hands tighten against your thighs, how he picks up his pace, how he fucks you harder.

And then it washes over you, and it hits Vernon - because of the way he continues to fuck you after it, but then you can feel his body against yours, his mouth chasing yours, and you just laugh between kisses because yeah, Vernon is a lazy kisser, that just how he is, but goddamn you love it.

In that weekend Vernon makes a ritual of kissing you, he kisses you every time he can really, but he makes a point of stealing a kiss before the free practice - in his motorhome. He does it again before the race, he ends up in second place. He kisses you again when you jump at him saying that he is the best - and he wants to argue because he just ended in second place, but it's you so he just takes it.

When Vernon is showered, clean, and not sticky from champagne he sees you sleeping in his horrible motorhome bed, and he just can't let you - you guys have a flight to catch.

"Hey, come on let's go home, Seb is missing you," Vernon says trying to wake you up.

#t: chwe hansol #Vernon fanfic #Vernon Smut #Seventeen Fanfic #Seventeen Smut #Vernon Fic #Seventeen Fic #t: writting #t: seventeen #svt smut #choi hansol fic

561 notes · View notes

shawtythatluvsurgut · 1 month ago

Text

hey guys. i got back from seeing my dad (i was gone all of september doing that) and realized that im $150 short on rent for this month. i lost around 50 subs from that one month i took away and i totally understand and am not mad at anyone for unsubbing, but it’s put me in a pickle for paying my rent in november. by a pickle, i mean that im $150 short. it’s embarrassing to admit this, but i miscalculated when i bought my tickets to stay longer and thought id have enough for my upcoming rent. technically i should have had enough, but losing that many subs really put a dent in my finances. i’m kinda stressing right now so if anyone can send anything id appreciate the help so so much. i will also send personalized content as a thank you. you can also help by subscribing to my OF (im back to posting somewhat regularly) so that we both benefit.

i’m sorry that the disneyland plan didn’t work out. i was looking forward to eating good, way too expensive food, but my dad’s health took a turn. that’s why i made the last minute decision to cancel disney and extend my trip in north cal. i couldn’t get a refund because disney is full of cash cows, so im kinda screwed right now. i’m glad i recalculated before the first of november hit because i can at least try to see if anyone can help.

also, i have video ideas coming to my OF. right now i want to keep my weight somewhat consistent or maybe gain slowly because i, too, have been having some minor health issues (not due to gaining, but gaining isn’t helping right now). I AM NOT LOSING WEIGHT OR PLANNING TO. I am just going to go easy on how fast i gain. i have a stuffing video planned for this month, along with my usual pictures semi-daily.

i just needed to be upfront and let everyone know what is going on with me. my dad is dying, i’m in school and i hate it, school has been taking up a LOT of my free time, i didn’t calculate my money correctly, and i got my meds switched. i feel like a zombie lately. and i may have lost a friendship/relationship that was very dear to my heart in the midst of this stress.

if i had other options, i would choose those first. but, unfortunately, i don’t. i don’t mean to sound like a bum asking y’all to help me financially or sub to my OF or whatever, but im kinda freaking out a little. so if anyone can help, even just an OF subscription, i would GREATLY appreciate it. even if it’s just for this month.

i feel so pathetic right now begging for help online, but hopefully my upfront honesty will relate to someone. sometimes saving is hard and i’m a blonde so ya know i can’t do math and idk im embarrassed. if anyone wants to buy a custom please message me on here or on OF if you’re subscribed. i’ll be putting in the work to try to bring y’all back and keep y’all satisfied. that’s a big priority for me and im sorry again to anyone who subbed to watch me eat at disneyland. i didn’t want to cancel that, but my dad was officially diagnosed with congestive heart failure on the day before i was supposed to fly down to LA and i couldn’t leave him. he’s put in the work to earn his spot back in my life and i couldn’t leave him the day he got that news. i love him and my mom despite any hardships and the last thing i could do was ditch him. i hope me being real helps you guys understand why i didn’t deliver on the disneyland content.

i understand if you are upset and you have every right to be! but i figured maybe being honest about what im going through could maybe help some of y’all build back trust with me. i feel very awkward and uncomfortable sharing such intimate information, but i think it’s what’s fair to all of you. thank you to all who have stuck around <3 and thank you to any/all who subscribe and/or send me money to help me out.

sending so much love to you all, as this has been a hard year for more people than just myself. the world needs a bit of honesty and transparency, and you all deserve that, so that’s what i’m going to give. <3

- Nico

#onlyfats #please help me

41 notes · View notes

casanovawrites · 11 months ago

Text

random sentence prompts ━ from various tv shows, part 6

you saw me as someone worth saving.

i didn’t want what happened to change the way you saw me.

we’re gonna get through this. we kind of have to.

sometimes our mistakes follow us.

in fact, i did not start out a bad person.

glory’s fine. revenge is more fun.

as usual, i make the wrong decision.

i was scared. i’m just tired of being scared.

all that rage is bad for your complexion.

you are so sweet and naive and dumb.

curious. how many more rock bottoms are you going to have to hit before you start taking care of yourself?

i used to think a lot of shit matters.

talking makes things real. and real things end.

i wanted to be a part of your world. but i didn’t know your world was like this.

i’m so sick of people telling me who i am.

the guilt of it all. what are we supposed to do with that?

i don’t want to be afraid anymore.

it’s like i always used to need someone else to make me feel whole.

you didn’t let me down.

you’re this fiery, passionate person.

we’re working to stop the monsters and to stop people from turning into monsters.

it’s important to have an exit plan that’s more than just an exit.

maybe it’s not so bad when you’re the one holding the knife.

at least i know who i am.

i’m nobody’s guiding light.

i don't belong to anybody.

i was alone. surrounded by people, but still alone.

rise and shine, we’re in hell.

this is the worst it’s been. that feeling in the pit of my stomach.

you’re going dark on me again.

if you’re bullshitting me, i don’t care.

i never wanted to be the bad guy.

why did anyone ever do shit for me when all i ever did was let them down?

look at you, always standing in my fucking way.

your memory is like… lethally selective.

what if we end up making each other freaking miserable?

what if i hurt you? i’ve hurt people before. very badly.

for what it’s worth, i’m proud of you.

you’re the future, kid. never forget that.

i guess i just want it to make some kind of sense.

however this plays out, i’m seeing it through with you.

you’ve done a lot, no question. but there is always more.

you believed in me when i didn’t.

this may shock you, but not everyone here likes you.

this place makes you face your demons or something, and turns out, your demons are really fucking ugly.

maybe in the end it’ll be me and you trying together.

maybe it makes me selfish. i don’t think it makes me wrong.

there’s a whole world out there for you. go. fight for it. be brave.

i'm talking the greater good. doesn't always have to be what's best for everybody.

it doesn’t matter how shitty they are. it still fucks you up when they’re gone.

sometimes, someone comes into your life at just the right moment, you know?

stop being mad at me for wanting a different future.

you’re not like the others. but you know that, don’t you?

this isn’t pressure. it’s winning.

i want a life where we can just… be.

the worst has already fucking happened. i don’t think i’ve got it in me to be that scared about something that could be good.

we can’t save anyone until we save ourselves.

if you’re with me, i need you to say it.

what gives you the right to choose who lives and who dies?

i don’t know how this is going to end or what happens to me, but for whatever it’s worth, i am with you.

why am i always doing bad things in your dreams?

you don’t trust anybody else to take care of things.

enough people have died.

tell me you didn’t kill anyone. if you say it, i’ll believe you.

thank you for believing in me.

i don’t wanna die.

i was just following your lead the whole time. we all were.

i’m not a hero. i’m just helping a friend.

i don’t think this is goodbye.

you need someone to help get you there, and you have to get there.

i’m sorry you met me, but i’m glad i got to know you. i’ll never forget you.

can’t i just blame everything on my mother and be done with it?

the whole world’s haunted.

i did monstrous things.

you’re happy. which you’re allowed to be, in case you didn’t know.

just because someone saved your life doesn’t mean you have to live the rest of it for them.

it is not up to you to carry everyone else.

put your trust in other people. in me.

sometimes, helping hurts like hell.

i just wish sometimes i had a map to figure you out.

it’s a crazy world out here, full of people who sometimes disappoint us, but it’s damn beautiful.

i’m sorry. small words for something so big.

what do you live for? living takes effort now, it takes everything. those still alive have their reasons.

the world is nothing without hope.

think about what you want. what you truly want.

the bad things we do must be done. we carry that burden so the others don’t have to.

i’m gonna screw with your life just like the way you did with mine.

this place, it’s safe. it’s good for everybody.

we take what we got, and we make it work.

they changed the game, so we change how we play.

oh my god, you killed him.

#*#sentence prompts #ask memes #rp ask meme #rp sentence prompts #one liner starters #ask meme #meme

119 notes · View notes

writersdare · 2 years ago

Text

Give Me Attention | Ashton Irwin

Pairing: Ashton Irwin x Reader (she/her)

Summary: Ashton and Y/N had been friends for a while. However, everything changed once she found out an unpleasant secret he thought to hide from her.

Warning: angsty, an intimate moment, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

Word Count: 2 947

Requested: yes

Author’s Note: This one was actually hard! I've been working on this one for quite a bit, and really hope you'll like the story. I'm still not sure about the whole concept, but I like to try new ideas, so I don't regret choosing this path. If you watched a film "Matthias & Maxime", you'll maybe recognise one scene from there. Besides phrases from the requested prompt list I also used another, quite a known one. Enjoy and let me know your thoughts! Thank you for your patience on this one ♡

Friday was supposed to be for parties or at least for something fun. However, Y/N had her own meaning of fun, and Ashton did not exactly like it.

“You do realise I’m not a plumber?” the guy was lying on a floor, head inside a kitchen counter, where pipes of a sink were.

“I believe in you,” Y/N smiled, changing a wet towel to a dry one. “Besides, you’re almost done, don’t complain,” she giggled and stepped back, taking a moment to appreciate Ashton’s naked back. “You’re so sweaty.”

“Oh yeah?” he mumbled, puffing loudly, while he was trying to screw the pipe. “Next time you’ll clean it yourself and I’ll look at you.”

Y/N bit her bottom lip, but couldn’t hold a giggle again. The guy was slightly mad and salty, she knew, though, he was just tired. It was a late evening, and Ashton was her lifesaver, as no one agreed to drive at such time and fix the pipe. It wasn’t even a big deal, it just clogged up! Well, perhaps, “just” was a wrong word, as Ash had a hell of a night. A drummer of one of the most popular bands in the world was cleaning a freaking sink…

“You’re the best, Ash,” Y/N said, smiling, and filled a kettle with water before heating it on a stove.

“Hell yeah, I am,” Ash chuckled and carefully stood up, being on all fours at first, as he was afraid to hit his head. That would be a dramatic end of the night, truly. “It should work now,” he sighed and turned on a faucet. The water flowed down easily and finally didn’t end up on the floor.

“Thank you so much! Really! I’d hug you, but—“

“I’m sweaty, yeah, I got it,” Ash smirked and took his own white shirt on a chair to wipe his body a bit. “I’m gonna take a shower, alright? You better get me something stronger than tea,” he warned, seeing two cups on a table.

“Alright,” the girl chuckled and stood up to check if she had something on a shelf.

Y/N and Ashton knew each other for a while. In fact, she was a good friend of all four guys from the band. Ash lived closer to her place, so it was rather natural to spend evenings together occasionally.

Rather quickly the girl reconciled with her romantic feelings towards Ashton. They were just there, for him, it was stupid to deny. However, Ash always treated her like a friend, and Y/N didn’t even dare to make a step or give a little hint. It wasn’t like she suffered from low self-esteem; no, that was in the past. The girl just preferred to call herself a realist. Ashton and Y/N were as if from different worlds. His working schedule was a total mess, his relationships were, maybe, even crazier. Y/N knew if something more had ever happened to them, she could not stand unseriousness. The feelings were too strong, and they’d grow stronger, if they were a thing. It was just smarter to have Ash as a friend to avoid a risk of loosing him eventually.

“Feeling better?” she smiled, when Ashton came back to the kitchen. He wasn’t wearing a t-shirt, and drops of water were still noticeable on his chest. “How is this disease called? When a person leaves a shower without a proper use of a towel?” Y/N smirked, trying not to stare at Ash too much.

“Oh, c’mon, are you shy?” the musician chuckled, and she hated, when he was getting a bit spicy with her.

Y/N only grinned and gave Ashton a glass of Martini, when he set down next to her.

“Well-deserved,” the girl joked.

“Thank you. And yes, I’m feeling better. But do you know how I’d feel even better? If you didn’t call me in the middle of the night to fix your pipe.”

Y/N rolled the eyes, and the guy giggled, quickly leaving a kiss on the cheek. Ash smelled like her showering gel; slight alcohol notes hit the nose, too.

“I’m only joking. You know you can call me any time,” he smiled.

“It’s not that late anyway,” Y/N mumbled, but grinned back. They enjoyed teasing each other, no one was offended there. However, when Ashton’s phone ringed, the girl got slightly upset. Who could call him at twelve p.m.?

“Oh, sorry, I gotta take this,” Ash stood up. “It’s Cassy, I’ll be in a minute.”

“Cassy? Not sure if I know who it is.”

“My girlfriend,” the guy said it so easily as if he just announced the weather forecast for tomorrow. “Oh, shit, I forgot! I met her in a bar a week ago, didn’t I tell you? I’ll be back,” Ash rushed up to the living room.

Y/N’s heart dropped, and a smile was wiped from her face completely. A girlfriend then? Who he met just a week ago? That was new. At that moment the girl started to feel uncomfortable for asking him to come over to help. Perhaps, she wasn’t allowed to do so any longer, as he was in damn relationship. And what kind of friends they were, if Ashton didn’t even tell her such news?

“Sorry,” Ash smiled, coming back to the kitchen quite quickly. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Y/N smiled back, making a sip from her glass. “Listen, I didn’t know you were dating someone, I’m sorry I called you–“

“What? No-no, what are you talking about?” he outraged softly. “I told you, you can call whenever you need me.”

“I don’t think it’s right anymore, you have a girlfriend, Ash, you shouldn’t be at my place,” she shook a head, struggling to hide how upset she was. Well, the girl tried, but all her strength was as if drained by the recent news.

“Y/N, we are friends,” Ashton stared at her eyes with his grass green. The phrase was so simple, and yet it hurt so much. The truth was painful. “So, it doesn’t matter. I still can come over and can stay at your place tonight,” he smiled cheerfully, but the girl shook a head again.

“No, I think you should spend the night at your place. It’s not that far from here anyway,” the girl whispered and emptied her glass.

Maybe she wasn’t right. Maybe it was stupid to behave like that and demand Ashton to come back to his place. Y/N wasn’t exactly sad he got a girlfriend – after all, that happened before, too – she was just upset Ash didn’t tell her right away. It seemed he didn’t even plan to. If not the call, who knew for how long the girl would stay oblivious?

"You can’t skip my birthday party, Y/N," Calum mumbled, sitting on a couch in a music studio the other day. Y/N was sitting next to him, resting a head on a back of the couch. When the girl confessed that she probably wouldn’t be able to attend the party, Cal didn’t even look surprised – it was just out of discussion, she was coming. So, the musician kept his eyes on a phone screen, trying to complete a level in some silly game. "What’s the matter anyway? You don’t want to get me a present, do you?" he chuckled, joking.

"It’s not that," Y/N sighed and turned her head towards the friend. Ashton wasn’t in the studio that day, and being honest, it was for the best, as their relationship wasn’t great since the guy announced he had a girlfriend. They didn’t talk about it, pretended they were fine, but hung out less – never alone, only with the rest of the band. It was hard to tell what was in Ashton’s mind, and why he just couldn’t tell the truth from the beginning. It had been three weeks, and they still didn’t figure it out. Y/N felt extremely stupid, she needed to let the things go, it wasn’t a big deal anyway. She just couldn’t understand why it still bothered her so much. And was his new girlfriend that special that he didn’t want to introduce to her? It was ridiculous.

"What is it then?" Calum stayed calm, his voice sounded even slightly indifferent, however, Y/N knew he cared.

The girl hesitated, feeling rather unsure if she needed to raise that topic. Although she was the one who started it, saying she wouldn’t be at Calum’s party, so perhaps, there was no way out.

"Is Ashton’s girlfriend gonna be there?"

"Why would she be there?" Cal finally put the phone away. He was quite amused by the question.

"Well, cause she’s his girlfriend," Y/N chuckled, finding his answer quite annoying.

Calum turned his full body towards the girl and stared at her.

"Wait… He didn’t tell you? They have a contract, it’s a PR relationship."

"What?…" Y/N gasped. When did they end up in that stage of their friendship where Ash stopped telling her anything about his life? The girl felt ashamed. She certainly didn’t enjoy looking stupid in front of Cal, however, the guy knew much more than both of his delusional friends did.

After being angry for a while, Y/N came to conclusion that she needed to stop thinking about Ashton that much. Clearly, he didn’t care about her or their friendship anymore, so why should she? It all felt quite childish, but the girl was sure that the main kid in their situation was Ash. Even when it was her, who ended up dancing with different guys up all night at Calum’s birthday party, ignoring the friend completely.

"She drives me insane," he growled, staring at Y/N, who was cuddling a random dude and moving her hips to the tempo of music. How wasn’t she still tired?

"To be fair, you did lie about your relationship," Calum chuckled, glancing at the mutual friend and making a sip from his glass.

"I had my reasons," Ash mumbled annoyingly, not being able to take the eyes off her even for a slight second.

"And she has her own," Michael commented, resting a hand on the friend’s shoulder. However, Ash shook it off rashly and hurried up to approach Y/N, when noticed the "dude’s" palm going down her waist.

"Don’t do anything stupid!" Luke begged, but Ashton didn’t hear him.

"Hey, Y/N, I need to talk to you," his whole body was tense. The musician wasn’t looking at the guy and was only staring at Y/N’s eyes.

"We kinda busy, man," the stranger made a step forward, and Ashton placed the hand on his chest quickly, pushing the cause of his bad mood aside. Ash grabbed Y/N’s wrist gently, but persistently, and pulled her from one room to another, where no one could bother them.

Calum moved to that apartment just recently, so some places were still on renovation, just like the guest room they appeared in. It was almost empty except for few old closets and kitchen counters, which, apparently, were left by the previous owners. It smelled like dust and damp, nothing pleasant.

"What the hell?" Y/N outraged, once Ashton shut the door behind them. "I was having a good time!"

"Yeah? Well, I had a shitty time!" the guy snapped at her and touched his face with a palm, standing in front of Y/N. "Shit, I… What the hell is going on, really? You’re ignoring me, hanging out with some pricks instead!"

"You don’t answer my questions, why should I answer yours?!"

"I got jealous, alright?!" Ash spilled out before thinking, and his voice became softer immediately. "And I know, I’m not allowed to be jealous, you aren’t even mine."

The phrase was absurd to Y/N. Wasn’t he the one who had a girlfriend? It didn’t already matter if it was a fake one. The girl set on a counter that was covered with some plastic tape, and shook her head.

"I gave you space, so you could enjoy your relationship, which, by the way, you didn’t even tell me about."

"Fuck," Ashton sighed heavily and touched both Y/N’s hands. "I’m sorry, alright? I just… didn’t want to tell you. Don’t you remember how you reacted that night? You didn’t even allow me to stay at your place!"

"I didn’t allow you, because you hid from me the fact you got a girlfriend at first place!" she outraged and broke the touch. "I don’t care if you have a girlfriend or not, if it’s PR or not, I just want you to be honest with me!"

"Do you? Are you really so indifferent about me having a girlfriend?" unlike Y/N’s, Ashton’s voice was calm.

The girl shoved him in the shoulder and made an attempt to jump off the counter, but her legs happened to be pressed against Ashton’s.

"Answer me," he demanded and touched her palm again.

"Yes, I don’t care," Y/N replied coldly, watching him bending down and leaving small kisses on her fingers. It became hot all of a sudden, and a heart started its race away from the feelings. It was too late to run, though.

"You’re lying to me," Ash took her second hand and left the kisses on the fingers again.

"I learnt from the best," the girl smirked, but the corners of the lips twitched, when the musician placed his palm on her knee.

"I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want to upset you. Do you think I’m so happy about having this fake relationship?" the green eyes pierced hers, while the hand moved from the knee up. He had no shame.

"I wasn’t upset."

"Stop lying to me," he whispered and brought his face close to hers.

"What are you doing?" the girl didn’t breathe. Y/N also wanted to speak less, being scared to gasp accidentally due to everything what she was experiencing at that moment.

"Proving that you’re wrong," his lips almost touched hers, and the hand was under the skirt, when the girl gathered the remnants of self-control and placed a palm on his lips.

"Fake one or not, but you have a girlfriend. And these lips that… I maybe dreamt about at nights are kissing someone else," Y/N whispered, looking at her own hand. "I’m not doing this," she looked up at Ash. His pupils were dilated by all the emotions that were rushing through his veins. He wanted nothing but her, to hold Y/N in his arms and to kiss her lips, not… someone else’s.

"I’m sorry," Ashton whispered. "I signed the contract. You know how important the job is for me," his voice was trembling a little, as if he wasn’t sure about his own words.

"No one can force you to do that. Others don’t do it," Y/N was speaking the truth. "And I’m not asking you to cancel the contract because of me. You know I’m not like that," she smirked and took away the hand from his lips, once Ashton stepped back. "Even when I found out you had a girlfriend, you didn’t tell the whole truth. Why?"

Ash smirked and shook his head, looking away.

"It’s stupid."

"The whole situation is stupid, Ashton," Y/N chuckled coldly and jumped off the counter. "So tell me. Why didn’t you tell me it was all fake from the beginning?" she was looking at his eyes, but the guy didn’t look back.

"I wanted to see your reaction."

"Are you satisfied?"

"Y/N…"

"You’re just unbelievable," the girl rolled the eyes and headed to leave the room, but Ash caught her by the waist. "Let me go. I really don’t want to see you now," she tried to hold back the tears.

"Like it or not, I am not leaving you. If you want to go, I’ll go with you," he touched her chin, so Y/N could glance at his eyes. "I know I fucked up. But we’ve been friends for a while, Y/N. And I needed to know…"

"You could just ask me," the girl interrupted. "Do you really think I’d say I didn’t like you?"

Ash laughed shortly and turned his head away.

"What’s so funny?" she outraged.

"What’s funny?" Ash asked and returned his gaze back at Y/N. "I’ve been making hints here and there, and you never reacted!"

"Wait… You’ve been flirting with me?"

"For the past year, but thanks for noticing," Ashton shook his head. "You’re so annoying."

"Well, it’s only your fault it wasn’t clear," Y/N allowed herself a small smile.

"Oh, it’s my fault?!"

"Yes," she giggled.

"Come here," Ash chuckled and began to tickle her sides. "My fault then, huh?"

"Stop!" the girl laughed.

The musician smiled and pressed her head against a shoulder, then hugged Y/N tight.

"I’m sorry, Y/N. I know it was stupid. But… Is there a chance that you’re not too mad at me, and we can go on a date any time soon? I’ll cancel the contract…"

"I’ll think about it."

"You’ll think?!"

The laughter rang out behind the door of the old guest room again. Ashton was not going to let her leave his arms that night, although Y/N wasn’t planning to. They both knew that the hardest part was just ahead, but maybe they could go through it together. After all, there was a chance that the girl was simply mistaken, and they didn’t need to lose each other. To take the risk and actually be together was worth it all.

taglist: @dgrangaa, @gracieboogirl

– gif and photo aren’t mine and belong to the rightful owner –

All stories are original and written by me. Do not copy, trace and post anywhere without permission and credit. The stories are fictional, they do not correspond to reality and written just for fun ♡

Masterlist | Taglist

#Ashton irwin #5sos blurb #5sos imagine #5sos imagines #5 seconds of summer #5 seconds of summer imagine #5sos #5sos angst #5sos fic #Ashton Irwin imagine #Ashton Irwin angst #Ashton Irwin x reader #Ashton Irwin x y/n #ashton 5 seconds of summer #ashton 5sos #ashton 5sauce #Ashton Irwin blurb #writersdare #writersdare ashton 5sos

340 notes · View notes

quitealotofsodapop · 7 months ago

Note

thinking of cicada lilly au and how tense things between "mr. moonlight" and "mr. sunshine" must have been in the beginning.

not only would they immediately recognize each other, but i can just imagine how they'd both be mentally freaking out the first time they saw each other. in an instant both of them are mentally screaming "what the fuck is he doing here!??" "holy shit he's alive!??"

and even after the truce incident things are still tense, less outright fighting, but a hell of a lot more awkward I'd bet. they're mostly talking about the kids they pseudo-adopted then themselves, but it's better than them fighting all the time. progress is progress, I suppose.

that is until how they found their respective kids comes up in conversation, and Wukong nearly has an aneurysm when he learns about Macaque getting tangled up with the bone demon and Bai He's "True Purpose"

referencing.

Oh def. At first the two "pets" were able to chalk their suspicions up to paranoia, but after one of them (likely bird!Wukong) witnessed the other un-glamour - it made things more overtly hostile.

Cus' like you said; "tf this guy doing here?!"

Especially from Wukong since in his memory, Macaque sorta died.

Even after their temporary truce to protect their respective "owners", they mentally weigh their options before getting chummy again.

Macaque in particular tries to leave entirelly one night, only to hear Bai He running around town yelling for Mr Moonlight for hours, tears and snot rolling down her face. He simply could not leave her knowing that he'd be depriving a lonely little girl her best friend and protector. Mr Moonlight calmly appears back at the restaurant's dining area that afternoon - pretending like nothing had happened. Bai He cried into his fur and held him tight, begging him never to scare her like that again. In his cat form he pretends Mr Sunshine doesn't exist.

Wukong considers flying away a few times just to get away from the awkwardness, but his successor is right here. And he's not entirely sure if can trust him alone with Macaque yet. So the bird occasionally screams into the certainly not-deaf cat's ears when he's feeling angry.

Eventually they do sit down on even terms to discuss what brought them to the same home.

Wukong: "Me first cus my kid is older." Macaque: "Fair." Wukong: "He's one of us." Macaque: "...you're kidding me." Wukong: "Yup! Nuwa made him directly and dumped him on me." Macaque: "That's pretty wild... how come you didn't raise him yourself?" Wukong, eyes sad: "I wasn't in a great place. All my friends were gone, our kingdom is non-existent, and I'm too much of a target to give the kid a normal life." Macaque: "As normal as a stone monkey could get." Wukong: "Yeah... so I sought out anyone from the old days that could give him a good childhood. And I found piglet's decendant." Macaque: "What made you choose him?" Wukong: "Honestly? Most of it was gut feeling. Then I saw him help calm down a toddler crying in the resturant and I just knew he'd raise MK well." Macaque: "I suppose you weren't entirely wrong. He is a good father." Wukong: "What about you? Why are you hanging around the little bug?" Macaque, hesistating: "...I'm protecting her." Wukong: "Why?" Macaque, glares: "Wukong, hav eyou not considered Why I was able to come back to mortal world?" Wukong: "I have, but what that has to do with Bai He?" Macaque: "She's not a normal child either Wukong. Not us, but something else... When I was in Diyu, I was approached by someone offering my life in exchange for raising a baby girl to be their host when the time came." Wukong, aghast: "You didn't." Macaque: "I did. I accepted... but I sure as hell am not gonna let them get to her anytime soon. I sniffed out your old master's soul since I knew his power could protect her. Plus I saw him manage to wrangle MK and knew he could handle it." Wukong: "So... what now? Are you just gonna pretend to be a cat for the rest of her life? Or are you going to tell her when this demon comes knocking at the door?" Macaque: "I should ask you something similar. When is MK going to find out his cockatiel is the legendary Monkey King?" Wukong: "We will learn one day soon. Just not right now." Macaque: "You keep telling yourself that. And I'll keep to the tuna if it means the little bug stays safe." Wukong: "Looks like we agree on one thing though." Macaque: "And that is?" Wukong: "We can't stand the thought of anything happening to them." Macaque: "Hmm." *looks away and nods silently*

Note: this convo most definetely occurs on the roof of the restaurant building. Or else Pigsy would be smashing into the conversation with a broom thinking there's burgulars.

Macaque deliberately keeps it quiet on "who" he made the deal with cus he knows Wukong would freak if he knew it was the Bone Demon.

#cicada lily au #lmk aus #sun wukong #six eared macaque #liu er mihou #lmk bai he #lmk lbd's host #lmk #lego monkie kid

36 notes · View notes

reynasheart · 1 month ago

Text

i know the usual white feminist crowd wont even care to read this but i just have to share it somewhere bc i feel sick to my stomach.

today we went to uni wearing all black bc the government wouldn't declare a national mourning. i heard one of my friends asking another boy why wasn't he wearing black, he answered with "why, what happened?" ive lost all hope for this country and men in general.

one of my professors had a rent abt how homicides weren't special to our country and if we were to move abroad we'd become second-class citizens there. this is a man who lived in europe for multiple years and now is making his studies with the help of the government, making moneys we cant even dream of, telling us to basically get over it. why am i even surprised at this point, he's working with government, theyre giving him money for his researches, of course hes gonna help discard the news under the rug faster, the media block irl version.

another professor made even crazier comments, a misogyny speech, he said that he didnt even care abt the events bc the girls were the murd3r3r's ex gfs. he talked abt how it was women's fault that they were always choosing the abuser men, not even considering the abuser men in question as a problem. i couldnt believe my ears when he said he wouldnt even help a girl if he saw it happen. i feel worried abt the women in his life (he doesnt have a wife, ofc, thats why hes so salty at this age with a child) i tried so hard not to cry and scream during the lecture, having to listening to him in silence.

they're trying to feed us these propagandas even more than media, poisining our brains and gaslighting us to believe that world outside turkey is hell, even worse than here. the sad part is these are people who were supposed to be role models for students, but they're men after all.

i felt even more nauseous when one of my "friends" (apolitic, a new way to say you're pro-government and a freak) as a woman said that there were more homicides happening in belgium. i couldnt even look at her at this point, me and my other friends argued saying how the difference is that theres a law system there, as oppose to ours. she ignored us and kept trying to talk abt biochemistry. how can she not see that everything is political when you're a woman? how can she believe that she's privileged enough to not have a political opinion?

i've lost hope. im tired of walking home with my head low, looking at my shadow with a paranoia, knowing that someone could kill me for no reason at all and get away with it. please share the events anywhere you can, they're trying to silence us, to keep us in our houses with fear to go outside but we cant let them win. TURKISH WOMEN NEED HELP

#pls look at my blog or the hastags to get inform #turkish women are in danger #6284ü uygula #turkish women need help #reinact6284 #protect turkish women #istanbul sözleşmesi yaşatır #turkey #news #turkishwomenareindanger

19 notes · View notes

ebi-noodle-doodles · 10 months ago

Note

I think that last anon was incredibly rude and very, very suspicious. I'm also a fat person, and I think your art is just fine the way it is.

This anon accuses you of having a fat fetish for using peach to shade, doesn't give you the name of the artist they think you're emulating, and then tell you (not asking politely, on your own blog where they are a guest, TELL) you to put body hair on Miku.

Not to mention, why are they recognizing a style from a fat fetish artist if they aren't on the fat fetish side of twitter themselves, enough to have picked up on this supposed artist's style, down to the shading?

Sure, Twitter is wild, you'll see plenty of things you aren't necessarily looking for, but this reads as someone who is trying very hard not to let you see them sweating. What are they doing at the devil's sacrament, pointing out all of the sinners there, tactfully not pointing at themselves as one of the people included amongst the crowd.

If they didn't say "teehee I'm a fat girl btw <33 nasty nasty fetishists <33" at the end, wouldn't you think this message is situationally inappropriate? This is the internet, this person is anonymous, and that means they can lie if they feel like it.

You shouldn't even believe me or care when I say I'm fat, because I too am anonymous, and you simply can't fact check me. Even off anon, I don't share pictures of myself online, because I know better than to trust the internet at large.

If they are not outright malicious

(people will do this when they themselves fetishize fat women for the sake of getting art they think is hot; kind of like people saying "fat women can't be sexy" so fat women will post suggestive pictures of themselves to prove the statement incorrect, especially so they can pick and choose through which images they like. This is Creep Behavior, to use negging to manipulate people into sharing racey pictures)

then they are outright very, very rude, despite their friendly tone. This is YOUR blog, your art is fantastic, and nobody should be coming into your house, telling you how to run things.

Personally, I think the shapes and textures you draw are aesthetically pleasing, and your color choices always go together very nicely, especially when pink and green can clash really bad if you're not careful. Please don't let some misguided person (or worse, a creep) tell you what to do. You've gotten as far as you have on your own just fine, because you're doing your own thing.

In your response to anon, you said

"I find it weird that when a “normal” character is posed something suggestive its just a drawing but when added a bit weight it becomes a “fetish” ????"

(https://www.tumblr.com/ebi-noodle-doodles/739308628074496000/im-really-not-trying-to-be-rude-but-your-pure)

and I could not agree with you more.

Why is it a fetish that Miku is fat? I look an awful lot like her, and it's nice to be represented in art, suggestive or otherwise. Why is this person coming at you like you're a freak pervert that needs to be corrected, when you're just drawing a character?

Why is fat considered inherently unattractive, the only people allowed to enjoy it being (implied) nasty, disgusting, morally deficit fetishists, when "normal" or "skinny" body types are left alone? Why are we treating body fat as morally reprehensible, and not just a thing people sometimes have?

If this person really is fat, they have a lot of internalized fatphobia to let go of, and if they're a fetishist they need to learn better manners.

And thank you, for being generous enough to share your art with the world. Sorry for the lengthy message as well. Your Miku is very cute, and I look forwards to seeing more of your art in the future :]

- 🐺🕷️ (Wolf Spider Anon)

Ive been self debating and doubting if what I’m doing is bad or that Ive done something wrong especially on illustrating her in a suggestive manner

Thank you for understanding my view. The reply timing is off as I’m still trying to understand myself if my coloring it self was wrong… are my poses off? Is it rude to draw her like this? I didnt take the anon’s comment as rude but i did feel some guilt that i feel i shouldnt have? Man i dont understand I’m dumb when it comes to these sort of stuff. I just answered truthfully on thoughts about that. All I know is I enjoy painting her, suggestively, happy, innocently or cute! I just like drawing her. Youll see more of her in blog hopefully :D

#thank you for taking the time to type all of these!#anon #reply #ask #chubby miku replies #chubby miku #miku related tag #miku related post #vocaloid related post #vocaloid related tag

41 notes · View notes

tmblrcolouredpaper · 2 years ago

Text

Fuck You

Bang Chan/ Reader

established relationship; argument; mental health issues; angst and cuddles

wc: 2809

'Fuck you!'

'Fuck me? Sure, sure, it's me who screwed up here.'

'Who else if not you?'

'You can't be serious.'

'Do I look like I'm joking?'

'Just fuck YOU!'

He basically yelled the last word to emphasize how done he was with your behavior.

It all started with a mild disagreement about how you did not handle a comment by one of your mutual friends well.

In Chan's opinion it was nothing to freak out about.

Lee Know just observed and expressed that you preferred comfortable clothes when he saw you sitting down at the table in the restaurant wearing bigger clothes than you usually would.

There was no judgment in his statement, but still, it made your mood turn 180 degrees, leaving a sulking quiete you back there.

Once Chan entered the apartment with you following some steps behind him, you went straight to the bathroom, taking a shower and going to bed.

He did his night routine, trying to take his mind off, but he felt kinda restless, neither wanting you to go to sleep in a bad mood nor wanting himself to be unaware of what was going in your head.

So he stepped inside the shared bedroom after he was done and simply spoke into the dark room that he would like you to come to the living room to talk.

He plopped down on the sofa, always looking behind him to see when you would come.

Some minutes later you sleepy figure approached him saying:'I'm tired.', but still proceeding to sit next to Chan.

You talked about the incidence.

He explained to you his point of view and clarified that there was no bad intention from Lee Know.

It bothered him how you were not aware of that, since you knew the younger one.

You somewhat saw where he was coming from, but you were stubborn and annoyed of the fact that people had to comment on such a silly thing like clothes in the first place.

That was when the calm talk about a minor misinterpretation started to shift.

'It's not about him saying something about your outfit. It's about the fact that you're starting to hide again.'

'How am I hiding by wearing a casual outfit to a casual dinner with friends?'

'It's not just that. But it's one of the things you started doing again, you know. If you would have been fine with your outfit choices, you wouldn't have been that bothered by his comment.'

'One of the things I started doing again? Chan, I was wearing comfortable clothes, don't make a big deal out of it.'

'You have plenty of other comfortable clothes that aren't extra baggy.'

'So you wished I was choosing prettier clothes?'

'I don't care what you're wearing.'

'Obviously you do care. A lot if it makes you that upset that you prevent me from sleeping when I'm tired after a long day.'

'Don't do this. I just want to clarify what happened, because you were obviously affected by his words.'

'So what am I supposed to do? Dress better so that people stop commenting on my looks?'

He sighed in frustration. He did not want the conversation to be like that. All he wanted was to tell you that you were perfect the way you were and that you did not have hide yourself from the world, that you did not have to be ashamed of yourself in any sense.

'I saw the clothes that you put out before you changed your mind and went for the bigger clothes. I saw when you got really excited some days ago when the others talked about the new Spiderman movie, but then you completely shut down and didn't dare to say a word. It's not just the outfit today, but considering that you enjoy putting a different kind outfit together, it just seems like another aspect of where you're hiding again.'

He looked at you, hoping you now understood that it was about much more than just today's dinner.

'So you're saying I'm not trying hard enough? I'm literally always working on getting over that shit, but how dare I to not be fully confident here and there.'

'I didn't say that-'

'It's just clothes, it's just a movie, it could be so much worse, why do you have to bring that up now?'

'Because you are clearly bothered.'

'So what. Happens.'

'I told you, don't do that.'

'What?'

'Being so fucking emotionless.'

You looked at him. He did not just say that, did he?

'Fuck you.', you said not looking at him, done with this bullshit of a conversation.

'Fuck me?', he could not believe that you were being so immature right now.

'Sure, sure, it's me who screwed up here.', he continued sarcastically, angry at you for not even considering the idea that he just wanted to help you.

'Who else if not you?'

A rhetorical question. You were so pissed that he always had to be so nosy, not letting you be and sort your stuff out by yourself, he always wanted to be part of it.

'You can't be serious.', he stated in complete disbelief.

'Do I look like I'm joking?', you asked. If you hated something more than not being left alone, then it was not being taken seriously.

'Just fuck YOU!', he yelled, hurt by your ignorance.

It was silent after that.

You fucked up and you knew it.

He was always soft and caring, he did not yell at you, so when he did just now you were not angry anymore, you were not absorbed by your own insecurities that slowly got the best of again, making you lose focus on anything around you and even Chan's feelings.

You did not feel sorry, you did not feel much, not having the capacity to do so, but you knew you were wrong for acting the way you did.

'Chan?', you asked in a low voice, glancing over to him.

He sat there with straight posture, both hands placed on his knees, eyes focused on something only he could concentrate on somewhere in front of him, not moving an inch, maybe still in shock of what just happened.

'I'm sorry.', he whispered.

'No, Chan, I-', you tried to bring out words to calm him down, but you knew he was strict on himself and he would be hard on himself for yelling at you.

You scooted over to him and laid your arms around him, engulfing him in a hug.

He did not move, but eventually after some minutes in silence and deep breaths of shock, he let his body melt into yours, followed by his arms that he quickly circled around your shoulders.

'I'm so sorry.', he sniffled.

'I know, Chan.', you said, caressing his head in a soothing manner.

'I'm sorry too.', you told him.

'Do you mean it?', he asked.

'Not really, I don't really feel it, but I am sorry if I made you frustrated. I don't want to make you feel bad in any way.', you confessed.

He tightened his arms around you, pulling you even closer.

'How bad is it again?'

You knew he referred to your mental state, without particularly naming it.

'I don't know.', you sighed.

'I-... Sometimes-', you looked down, shaking your head, unable to express yourself.

He placed a kiss on your temple.

'It's fine. You wanna try talking about it now or calm down first?', he asked, searching for the most comfortable option.

'Now.', you said. 'I just don't know where to start, I don't know if I can explain it to you well enough.'

'Whichever words feel right to you. I will give my best to understand, okay? I'm here.', he assured.

Silence.

He saw you looking around the room, as if you were searching for something.

'Was there a reason why you went so quite when they were talking about the movie?', he tried giving you a topic to start with.

You leaned into his embrace a bit more, as if you were hiding from the world.

'I wanted to watch the movie in the cinema. I couldn't bring myself to actually do it.'

He hummed in anticipation, caressing some hair out of your face.

'It's not a big deal, I know it. I'm not even scared or anything. I just didn't go and then I was disappointed that I didn't.', you explained.

'But you didn't panic or anything?', he asked in confusion.

'No. I didn't even try.'

He caressed you back up and down.

Silence.

'Chan-'

'Hmm.'

'I don't wanna talk. It doesn't make sense.'

'What doesn't make sense?'

'This.', you said, pushing away from him.

'What do you mean?', he asked, remaining the confusion.

'I didn't feel like anything was up. I was only annoyed of that comment today. The movie thing is more like I didn't prioritize my own wish for watching it.

Nothing is up. Everything is fine. Just you trying to make a point by analyzing my psyche based on a few interpretations-... I-... I was just scared because you yelled. You don't just yell. I thought if you're that frustrated that you start yelling, it must mean you actually think something is wrong and I trust your feeling for that, but now talking about it-... I don't think it's getting worse. Everything is fine.', you explained and threw in big gestures unintentionally.

'Maybe I misinterpreted things.', he said and you nodded, still sitting up straight, not leaning into him to have a better position for reading his face.

You truly believed that the points he brought up were not indicators for a worsen health condition of yours and you felt relieved that the conversation seemed to be over, you just wanted to go to sleep.

So you just sat there, on the sofa next to Chan.

You waited patiently for him to do something, maybe to get up and do his night routine, anything, it did not matter what, you just waited for him to initiate any change of the current situation you were in.

You were not hiding nowadays, you were passive.

You were present without putting yourself out there as much as you would become the center of attention for even a second.

Considering that exactly that happened today, it was no surprise that the comment that drew attention to you had a bigger impact than it would have had normally.

Chan did not move away to do anything else, but stayed in the same position.

You were unaware of him observing you closely.

He meant it when he surrendered and said he might have misinterpreted your behavior, but the feeling that you did not feel a hundred percent did not leave him.

He knew you and sometimes it was easier to see what was going on from the outside by just going through the list of signs than experiencing struggles yourself that overwhelm you until you were almost completely numb.

'Let's go to bed, shall we?', he asked.

'Yes.', you answered in relief that you were allowed to leave the situation.

Once you were back in the dark bedroom covered by blankets and snuggled into Chan's body you fell asleep.

However Chan was still awake for a long time.

Too much was on his mind: The guilt he felt for yelling at you, he would never do that again, never, his own stress got the best of him as well, but he would not excuse his actions in any way;

the worry about your health that was obviously worse compared to some month ago and the fact that you said yourself that you did not feel anything much made obvious that you needed more support again;

besides those two point there was also his constant fear of finally being rejected by you after all, because he knew he was a lot and maybe too much and at the same time not enough.

What if you would break up with him? Who would be by your side helping you? How was he supposed to catch any sleep again without you calming him down?

'Chan?', you grunted half asleep.

'Yes?', he responded in surprise.

'Stop worrying andjustsleep.', you proceeded to mumble falling asleep again while talking.

'Okay.', he whispered and nuzzled his head in between your shoulder and neck in an attempt to distract himself.

He felt much more relaxed when your warmth surrounded his senses and he pressed his eyes together to not let any tear slip out that wanted to stream down his cheeks.

The try of regulating his breath to become slow and more even was interrupted by your hand combing his messy locks.

Your weight shifted as you rolled on your back.

'Come here.', you whispered and tucked on the black hoodie your boyfriend was wearing to signal him to lay down on top of you.

He quickly sat up and pulled the fabric over his head and threw it on the ground before he let himself rest on top of you without forgetting to grab the blanket that covered both of you again after some seconds of the position change.

'It's comfier like this.', he blurted out and made you giggle.

He felt your hand on his bare back, first drawing circles then going up and down slowly.

'I love you.', he heard you whisper and then felt your lips on his forehead that was close to your chin as his head rested on your upper body.

It was the last straw and he let his tears escape.

'Chan, no, it's okay.', you cooed, holding him close.

'I just-... It's sooo hard to- to se you going through it again. And I- I', he stuttered, 'I am so scared of losing you, I know I'm not doing well enough, I'm so so s-s-sorry... please just- just, please-'

'Chan', he heard you saying, interrupting his mumbling.

'You are doing well. You're just overthinking, don't stress yourself like this, okay?', you tried to assure him still caressing his skin.

'I can't lose you.', he whispered as if saying it out loud and clear would make it become reality in an instant.

You interrupted the steady movements on his back and places your palms on both side of his head what caused him to look up to you.

With a deep stare in his eyes you said: 'You don't. You won't. I promise.'

He pushed his body up and freed himself from your touch transitioning to hovering above you without breaking eye contact once.

The sudden move surprised you and you just laid there looking at him, not sure what to say or do.

He believed you, he wanted nothing more than trusting in your words and he knew he could do so.

However it did not stop his worries just like that.

He shifted to the side and sank his lower body onto the mattress while keeping his upper body up with the weight on one arm.

Carefully he adjusted the blanket that fell to the side due to his movements.

Once you were covered again, he pushed some strands of your hair to the side and caressed your cheeks.

He saw the goosebumps creeping over your skin.

'I just want you to be happy.', he whispered and looked down on you with nothing but adoration in his eyes.

He saw how you reached out to grab his hand and went along by taking yours.

He wanted you to be closer, but at the same time he wanted to see your face.

It broke his heart a little when he saw how absent you looked like. It was beyond the tiredness of the end of a day.

He felt your grip tightening around his palm and you whispered:

'I'm trying-'

He saw you closing your eye and taking a deep breath.

'I don't know how- I- I'm sorry.'

He knew he could not do much. As much as he wanted to give you the whole world, he knew it would not help.

He could just be there and hope that was at least something.

So, he robbed closer and gathered your body in his embrace that you immediately welcomed by snuggling into him.

He closed his arms around you and dropped down on the bed.

'There is nothing to be sorry about. You're working so hard to get better, I know. It must be frustrating, hm?'

He felt you nodding.

He knew it was not about him here. It was not about getting his desire to help satisfied, it was about you feeling better again.

'How are you feeling?', he asked and caressed your head.

'Tired. Just tired.'

'Wanna talk about it tomorrow?'

'Yes, please.'

'Okay. Anything I can do for you now?'

'You're here. That's already more than enough.'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

#▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:08 StrayKids #skz fanfic #skz x reader #bang chan #kpop fanfic #gif #kpop imagines #skz imagines #bang chan imagines #kpop scenarios #skz scenarios #sorry for any typos

147 notes · View notes